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Vampyros Lesbos (1971)
The title translates exactly how you would expect it to; it also gave birth to one of the greatest taglines in history: “A Psycho-Sexadelic Horror Freakout.” That perfectly sums up the mindset one should be in to watch this film. Imagine a soft-core porn vampire film if Austin Powers had supervised the production design, with performance art by Andy Warhol, and you’ll have a faint idea of what Vampyros Lesbos is like. It’s a fucking weird film by any measure but love him or hate him, Jess Franco does have his admirers and this is probably his best film. Not good so much as fun. Hallucinogens may increase your enjoyment of this film, but are not necessarily endorsed.

Blacula (1972)
Given the theme of this site, I probably couldn’t get away with not including Blacula, one of the more entertaining interpretations of the story ever put to film. Mamuwalde is an African prince turned into a vampire and locked away for centuries. He is revived in modern day Los Angeles where he covets a woman he believes to be the reincarnation of his lost love, Luva. Personally, I think is one of the best of the “Blaxploitation” films of the ‘70’s; clever, silly and fun in equal measures. It also doubles as a good entry point for those unfamiliar with the blaxploitation subgenre.

Blood for Dracula (1974 – a.k.a. Andy Warhol’s Dracula)
Sex and vampires tend to go hand in hand. So it is for this entry, where Dracula (the awesome Udo Kier – respect!) needs the blood of “were-gins” to stay alive. He finds a houseful of promising candidates, but soon discovers the Marxist gardener has other plans. Delightfully over the top and tasteless, Blood for Dracula never condescends to its material and winds up being just a little sweet as well as tacky. Be sure to catch it in its uncut, X-rated version so you won’t miss Udo licking a virgin’s busted cherry off the floor. Classic!

Rabid (1977)
No discussion of the influence of Dracula on cinema would be complete without mention of David Cronenberg’s second feature film. Marilyn Chambers plays a woman who gets into a motorcycle horrible accident. After an experimental reconstructive surgery, she grows a spiked penis in her armpit and embarks on a bloodthirsty rampage in Montreal. Though not a conventional vampire film, Cronenberg is one of the first to mine the novel’s subtext of vampirism as disease, which is not surprise considering it fits perfectly with his “body horror” sensibilities. It’s rough and raw, but leaps and bounds more polished than Cronenberg’s first film, Shivers.

Martin (1977)
Overshadowed by Dawn of the Dead a year later, Martin is one of George A. Romero’s best films. Young Martin (played by John Amplas) is a vampire, though he has no fangs (razor blades must suffice) and can walk in the daylight (though he prefers to wear sunglasses). “There is no magic”, says Martin of his affliction. Martin is a monster for an age that doesn’t believe in monsters. Or is he? The ending is tantalizingly open ended and genuinely haunting. Romero is largely concerned with the fading of old ways in favor of the new, a theme perfectly echoed in the setting: a dying American industrial town. Using this setting, Romero is able to evoke a sense of genuine pathos. There are many beautiful moments in this small, surprisingly sweet and understated film.

Dracula (1979)
John Badham (Saturday Night Fever) seems a strange choice to adapt Deane and Balderston’s play, but he was the right one. Some liberties have been taken with the story, mainly amalgamating characters and updating the setting to Edwardian England, but it really doesn’t matter; this film has a life of its own. Frank Langella reinterprets Lugosi’s Dracula, making him sexy and dashing and more melancholy than previous interpretations. Hearing the immortal line “Children of the night, what sweet music they make” filtered through Langella’s sensibilities should be enough to convince any skeptic of Dracula ‘79’s worth. Add to that sumptuous production design by artist Edward Gorey, strong supporting work from Donald Pleasence, Laurence Olivier and an absolutely marvelous John Williams score (one of his last great and most overlooked scores), and you have a must see for serious Dracula-philes, horror fans and Goths.

The Hunger (1983)
Auteur/God Tony Scott’s debut feature is a stylish and sensuous exercise in melancholy. If you could be immortal, would you necessarily want to be if it meant watching those you loved grow old and die right before your eyes? Besides posing this provocative question The Hunger contains what is, bar none, the best opening credit sequence in the history of the world. Ever. It also has a lesbian sex scene with Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve, for those of you who are interested in that sort of thing. Visually one of the most influential films of the 80’s and in all seriousness one of the best films, vampire or otherwise, gifted to mankind.

Lifeforce (1985)
While we’re on the whole sexy vampire kick, I would be remiss not to mention Tobe Hooper’s batshit insane sci-fi/horror/mystery/end-of-the-world film. Mathilda May is a (naked) vampire discovered in the tail of Halley’s comet (naked) and brought back to Earth (naked) who proceeds to suck the life force from everyone around her (naked the whole time). Oh yeah, there are two other (naked) male vampires, but who gives a fuck about them? This is May’s show and she shines in a nearly silent, but entirely naked, role. Lots of cool, flashy FX, a Patrick Stewart supporting role (not naked) and little in the way of logic or coherent storytelling, Lifeforce is for vampire fans who like their films, fast, furious and really, really naked.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)
Francis Ford Coppola supposedly set out to make the definitive Dracula adaptation. While this version does stick closer to the source material than most previous versions, it nevertheless diverges from the text in several key areas. Many hate it because of its bombast and it’s admittedly anything but subtle. It also lacks a compelling narrative (one could probably argue that it lacks a narrative, period), with events from the novel following one another but with no urgency to the story. There is also Keanu Reeves as Jonathan Harker, a casting choice that should probably be entered in the dictionary under “bad casting choices”. Despite its shortcomings, however, Bram Stoker’s Dracula still boasts many redeeming qualities, be it the production design, the beautiful Wojciech Kilar score, Anthony Hopkins playing it to the hilt as Van Helsing or the inimitable Gary Oldman as the Count. The prologue, which connects the fictional count to the real Romanian knight, is a standout and the decision to emphasize the romantic relationship between Dracula and Mina makes this version resonate like few before it. Coppola directs the shit out of this one and you’ll probably either love it or hate it, but you should definitely see it.

There are, of course, at least 20 more great Dracula films for each one listed here. One of the greatest things about the character of Dracula is his durability. Despite some of the shitty films made about him and his brethren, we still keep coming back to the original story. It seems like no number of adaptations can slake our thirst for the story. If anything, we welcome new interpretations and twists on the legend and will probably continue to do so for a long time yet; the character of Dracula is one of the few literary creations that can truly be considered immortal. He’s lasted 116 years so far… here’s to an eternity of great Dracula!

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