There is a LOT of dung out there in children’s programming. If you’re a parent, and like most allow your child to watch some amount of TV, you’re already keenly aware of this. You’ve probably had more than your fair share of staring blankly ahead at the screen like a Romero zombie while an idiot man child in some bizarre costume screams nonsense at your little bundle of joy.

Frankly, there aren't too many things worse than sitting down with your child to watch some of the mindless drivel - Barney or Rolie Polie Olie for example - that's spreading like avian flu on cable and satellite TV. My main problem with most of these shows is that they pay lip service to learning and pat themselves on the back for doing so. That and they suck. Watching flies fornicate is more entertaining.

Luckily I have been able to find a few shows that not only are fun to watch for the kids, but which won’t cause your brain to hemorrhage from repeated viewings. Here are the ten best kid’s shows, in my opinion.

1. Looney Toons (On DVD-Golden Collections 1, 2, 3)
These are, of course, classics. What surprised me was that when my son and I came across some Looney Toons shorts on Cartoon Network a year or so ago, he was as thrilled with them as I was. I had assumed, for whatever reason, that these would not interest him. To my surprise the physical humor and characters spoke to him just as they have to kids and adults for the last 60 years. He laughed all the way through the three shorts we watched. Luckily, Warner Brothers did everyone a favor and has started releasing these on DVD. I recommend the Golden Collections sets because they are inclusive. Each set includes 55-60 of the classic cartoons from the 1930s-1960s, as well as a wealth of extras that will interest the adults. If these are too pricey (they cost on average what a season on a TV show costs) there are some smaller packages, the Spotlight and Premiere Collections respectively, being sold, too.

2. Tom and Jerry (On DVD- Spotlight Collection, Premiere Volume)
Again, another classic. The same false assumptions happened here as well. After some viewings on Cartoon Network my son has become as fond of these as I am. I remember watching these shorts every afternoon as a child on a local station in Denver. As with the Looney Toons collections, we now have these wonderful shorts being released in DVD sets. The first volume, already out, and volume two, due in October 2005, consist of 40 of the classic cartoons, though it falls short with regards to extras when compared to the Looney Toon sets.

3. Fantasia (Anniversary Special Edition DVD)
I despise Disney with a passion matched only by my hate for the Oakland Raiders. I firmly believe that Uncle Walt was a Nazi. Most Disney movies I find to be putrid and sappy, not to mention damaging to the psyche. If you watch enough of them as a child, you are guaranteed to end up a short chain smoker with a predilection for going rock climbing in a Jeep as an adult. No one deserves that kind of shame. That said, I’ll admit that when it comes to Fantasia, all that bile goes out the window. It’s a little highbrow for the younger kids perhaps (how many other movies explain the first couple billion years of evolution via cartoon after all), but certainly no more so than the horrible Baby Einstein series (and it succeeds where that sorry ass series fails), full of flashing colors and pretentious bullshit. This is one movie that entices the kids to sit down and savor the art- beautiful animation and wonderful music together, something adults can appreciate too. What’s awesome about the DVD is it has the restored original theatrical version on it. The disc also has some nice supplementary material that, again, adults will enjoy.

4. They Might Be Giants- Here Come the ABC’s (On DVD)
Most kid’s music sucks beyond belief. Sure, the Kids Bop commercials make me laugh (kids covering Green Day songs? What next, Hollaback Girl?) They Might Be Giants don’t re-invent kid’s music, but they do come up with some toe-tapping, fun, original songs that kids will enjoy – and that won’t make daddy want to put his head in a furnace. It’s imaginative and fun, and when the CD is being played in your car it won’t totally embarrass you at a stop light. There is also a DVD with videos (mostly puppets and animation) for the songs as well as some extras. Just think. By promoting obscure bands at an early age you can help ensure the kids will be well on their way to an obsession with DEVO as an adult! What’s more, once the kids get a little older you can introduce them to TMBG’s other music, especially Flood.

5. Charlie and Lola (Playhouse Disney Channel)
Simply put Charlie and Lola rocks. Based on the books by Lauren Child, it’s a show about Charlie (a seven-year-old boy) and his bothersome little sister Lola. Each episode has Charlie helping Lola with a different problem or through a new experience. One begins to wonder after awhile what kind of shiftless parents these two have, as they are never around to even feed their children. This show has several things going for it. 1) The episodes are only 15 minutes long, 2) the kids are English and say things in funny English ways and 3) kids will enjoy watching Charlie help Lola. It’s educating without being pretentious or preachy. I keep hoping that this will be put out on DVD. I’d enjoy watching these as much as my son would.

6. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (On DVD)
I have not seen, and don’t really care to see, the remake. I probably will, but it just seems unnecessary. The first movie got so many things right and Gene Wilder is awesome as Willy Wonka. This was one of the first movies I ever saw as a child and it still remains as one of my favorites. It, like Fantasia, is a movie that both child and parent can watch together. The DVD comes in both widescreen and pan and scan. Buy the widescreen. It’s a nice DVD with a couple of extras, including a commentary from the “Wonka Kids”.

7. The Wiggles (On DVD)
I debated about including these guys, but decided to simply for two reasons – kids under the age of about six love these guys and their skits and songs, and as an adult you can spend the time watching this making pithy MST3K type comments on Captain Feathersword’s sexual proclivities, among other things. Yes, these guys venture into the saccharine zone too frequently and get a little too cutesy for their own good, but they generally have fun and do some unique stuff. Or at the very least, some Australian stuff, which can be mildly interesting. They do tend to create a cult like fanaticism and loyalty in the kids, so small doses may be best. Also, it’s fun to imagine Dorothy the Dinosaur getting it on with Wags the Dog! They have a bunch of DVDs out, my favorite being Top of the Tot’s, because of Larissa, one of the Wiggles dancers.

8. School House Rock (On DVD- 30th Anniversary Edition)
Another staple of my childhood. This is educational TV that was fun. Virtually everything I know about our federal government comes from this series. Never mind the fact that I took a bunch of Political Science and History courses in college, even proctoring an independent study civics class. I simply remember how a bill becomes a law from School House Rock. I wish the creators would take on some current topics, such as stem cells, the Patriot Act, etc. The two-disc set includes all 50 some songs from the original series.

9. Pee-Wee’s Playhouse (On DVD- Seasons 1-5)
The wife vouches for this show. I was a little too old when it came out, but it is a lot of fun. It’s weird, and odd, and kids think it’s hilarious. I don’t like it nearly as much as the wonderful Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, but it is fun. Amazingly enough, it also won a few awards when it originally aired. As with the Wiggles, your mileage here may vary considering the other “things” Paul Ruebens has done. Each DVD set for this series includes all episodes from the season. There is a rumor of a re-release box set with additional extras such as commentaries. That may make one want to hold out and see if the rumor comes to fruition.

10. Maisy (On DVD)
Last but not least is a fun little mouse called Maisy. The show is basically about her adventures with her friends. Sometimes it’s hide and seek, other times it’s on the farm. It’s just an odd little show that I have no problem watching because of its leisurely pace and mush-mouthed characters (all of them speak in these funny non-sensical voices). The narrator is a hoot as well. “Hellllllllooooo Maisy!” It’s a nice, non spastic show for the tots. The DVD’s are basic, but nice. No extras, but what does it matter when you get to hear Charlie the Alligator warble like an idiot?

When all is said and done, there are a lot of crappy shows out there being pushed on kids. Hell, entire channels exist with this M.O. in mind it seems. Luckily, if you do a little searching, there are enough diamonds in the rough that you and your children can find a handful of things to watch together. And you won’t have to perform a lobotomy on yourself, which is nice.