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 : Obviously your career has been a bit
of a roller coaster. What moments do you consider those
that you are proud of?
 Artie
Lange: Well probably, everything
I’ve done has things I’ve been proud of.
Like, MadTV might come out with the “Best
Of” me, which is really flattering. In the two years
I was on it, there are probably 10 or 11 sketches that I was
actually proud of, and a couple of Norm Show episodes, Dirty Work I think is funny, but I haven’t
had a stellar, like critically acclaimed career. If I had
to pick one thing it’s probably the work on the Stern
show for five years. If I had to put something in a
time capsule, it would probably be my funniest moments on
the show and what it’s allowed me to do. It’s
The Whiskey Talkin', my stand-up DVD, I couldn’t
have done that on Comedy Central…. It’s uncensored.
I’m proud of it because that’s me, in a club,
12 at night, a couple of drinks in me, needing a shave, messed
up hair, with a jacket I was just sleeping on. Comedy the
way I want to do it. Because of Stern, I was able to get a
big distribution deal and make a lot of money from it, and
be edgy and not censor myself. So this (Artie Lange’s
Beer League) is the movie version of that DVD. It’s
tough to put radio shows in time capsules so it’s Beer
League and It’s The Whiskey Talkin’. Beer
League, I think, is the best and funniest movie I’ve
been in…and I’m very proud of it.
: What about your upcoming, sold-out show
at the legendary Carnegie Hall?
Artie Lange: That’s unreal…that’s something my mother
was actually proud of. It’s rare that she’s
proud of something I do…it’s like “whoa
that’s amazing”…selling it out in two hours,
its surreal to me. That’s going to be unbelievable.
That was a very big milestone.
: With Beer League coming
out this week, what about the similarly titled Beer
Fest, released a few weeks ago?
Artie Lange: What happened was it was renamed “Artie Lange’s”
Beer League after Beer Fest came
out. I didn’t want that, it’s sort of embarrassing.
This distributor bought the movie and they can mark it whatever
they want. So they said, we will add your name in front
of it to counteract the Beer Fest. I am fans
of those Broken Lizard guys (creators of Beer Fest).
While I haven’t seen Beer Fest, I think Super Troopers is real funny. So I
wished them luck. It came out a few weeks before us
so I think it has already died down, so hopefully it won’t
hurt us. It’s funny you mention that. It’s
the entire reason it’s Artie Lange’s Beer
League.
: What would you call the movie if it were
up to you?
Artie Lange: Just Beer League, plain. We always
loved that title. That’s what we called these
leagues, when I played in these drunken leagues in Jersey.
It wasn’t officially called that, but you would say
“that’s a beer league.” We loved that title.
If I had my druthers, I would take “Artie Lange”
out of the title. For a classier route we should’ve
went with Jessica Lange’s Beer League.
(laughs) Fuck it, use her name.
: For a smaller-budget film, you’ve
got a great cast. Is there anyone that you wanted but
couldn’t get?
Artie Lange: Well, the Ralph Macchio part, he ended up being amazing.
He is a great voice of reason, like in My Cousin Vinny.
He’s a great guy to say, “You guys are crazy and
I’m his crazy friend.” For that part we
had thoughts of some real famous guys, some long shots.
We sent the scripts out…I’m in CAA, it’s
a big agency, so I have the ability to get scripts to people.
Just movie stars that would ensure getting way more money,
like Matt Damon, he’s a baseball fan. We sent
it to him and we got nowhere with that. But both Ralph
Macchio and Scott Baio auditioned. Like all these iconic
Italian guys from the early ‘80s. Scott Baio’s
audition was funny, but we went with Ralph. He is a
very comforting piece of Americana. He is great in the
movie and he is a great guy. The Seymour Cassell part,
we are so thrilled with him. But we thought of Rip Torn
for that too. But when you see Seymour’s performance,
it is so fucking funny and he nails it. The biggest
laughs in the movie are his. My favorite joke in the
movie is his. I don’t want to blow it for you
but, “I ground into a double play and he comes up to
me and goes, Artie watching you hitting into that double play
makes me wish I was 35 years younger. I go, “Why
so you can kick my ass.” He says, “No I
can kick your ass right now. But 35 years ago I would
have lent your parent’s money for an abortion.”
That is obviously a very politically incorrect joke but he
nails it. It’s like boom, it’s a great line.
(laughs)
(With our time well over the allotted
20 minutes, a visibly exhausted Artie is whisked up to his hotel room to try and catch up on some
much needed sleep. Still, great guy that he is, Artie
didn’t hesitate to sign my Dirty Work DVD. I hope that bottle of Jack Daniels that I gave
him before the interview helps him sleep through a grimy Cleveland
night.)
And that concludes the second in my unintentional series
of interviews with New Jersey guys.*
Artie
Lange’s Beer League starring Artie Lange,
Ralph Macchio, Anthony Desando (The Sopranos), Carla Buono
(The Sopranos), Jerry Minor (Mr. Show, Lucky Louie), Laurie
Metcalf (Rosanne), Seymour Cassel (Rushmore), Kamal Ahmed
(The Jerky Boys), with appearances by Jim Breuer, Nick DiPaolo,
Jim Florentine, and Tina Fey opens in limited release on Friday,
September 15th in theaters in New York, New Jersey, Philadelphia
and Cleveland, Ohio. If it does well enough, it will
release wide the following week.
*Lou
Taylor Pucci, April 2005.
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