The Snobs versus the Slobs. It’s
an age old battle, and one that is pitted time and time
again in the annals of feature film comedy history. When
the rich, powerful, beautiful, elite find themselves
in a war with the outcast, the misfit, the socially unacceptable
after “being pushed too far.”
 We’ve
seen this combat waged before in classics of the genre,
like Animal
House, Caddyshack, Revenge
Of The Nerds, and Old
School… just to name a few.
While the story is always the same and the victor
is never in question, movies like these tend to become
touchstones for a generation; films that the youth
of their time cling to like the Holy Grail of movie
comedy. Many of these titles have become outright classics,
providing a high water mark for other films to match
or beat. Enter into the arena a new contender: Accepted.
Accepted starts off with all of the promise in the
world: A slightly new and interesting twist on the old
warhorse of a theme. In Accepted, instead of our scrappy
band of misfits trying to fit into a hostile situation,
they go and create their own refuge. In this case, they
start up their own, fake university. It’s a brilliant
idea that practically overflows with potential. For
me, that potential only grew when I found myself thinking
that the trailer for the movie (not included, more on
that later) was pretty damn funny. When I had the opportunity
to review Accepted, I jumped at the chance. I wanted
to see this anyway, hadn’t seen it yet, and was
quite excited at the prospect. Hell, even the blurb
on the back of the box said that Accepted was “This
generation’s Animal House!”
 Well, I’ve since come to learn that box blurbs
lie, and another bit of my innocence is gone. You see
Mr. Steven Chupnick (if that is your real name) of
MovieWeb.com (what?!? Are you serious? LAME!), IF Accepted is “This
generation’s Animal House!” then
oh, how I weep for this generation. I hope you got
paid well for your LIES Mr. Chupnick, you tool. And
if you actually believe that statement, I hope you take
your precious blurb money and stock your bomb shelter,
because armageddon is upon us.
OK, let me step it back a bit, if I may. Perhaps Accepted isn’t so hideous as to bring on the End Times,
but comparing it to Animal House certainly counts as
a heresy punishable by death in my particular religion.
You hear me, Mr. Chupnick! See, Accepted had promise
but it never really paid off. To me, that’s almost
as bad as just being a lousy movie. I’d rather
have my expectations met rather than suffer a disappointment.
 Accepted was
directed by Steve Pink, best known for being super
keen pals with John Cusack. This was a first time gig
for Pink, but he shouldn’t shoulder all
of the blame. I think the bulk of the blame lies on
the studio’s probable insistence of a PG-13 rating.
Refer back up to that prestigious list I made for you
in the second paragraph. What do all of those films
have in common, outside of being gut-bustingly funny?
Each and every one of them is RATED R!!! The pressure
to stay under the R from the outset has to be almost
impossible to be funny under. I mean, a concept where
a bunch of kids make up a fake school, go to it, have
their parents pay tuition to, and where they are completely
unsupervised and unstructured in a co-ed environment!
What the hell do you think they’re going to do?
They’re going to get ragingly drunk, mind-blowingly
stoned, and fuck like rabbits on crystal meth. None
of these activities are even remotely PG-13 friendly.
 That’s
an awfully big burden to hang on a film. The PG-13
rating has as much of a place on a teen sex comedy as
it does a horror film. And they wonder why kids today
are so fucked up. When I was a kid, Animal
House and Caddyshack were
a rite of passage. The stuff of legend. You had to
make like Indiana Jones just to sneak a peek at some
friend’s
HBO or his Dad’s
copy on Beta. And getting into a theater? Forget about
it. Even Ethan Hunt wasn’t getting in there. PG-13
is just so… accessible. Feh! If it is easy, it
isn’t worth earning.
It’s not to say that I didn’t chuckle
at times while watching Accepted. There were a few moments,
but sadly, very few. For me, the biggest saving grace
was the inclusion of Lewis Black in the cast. You have
to like Lewis Black (and I do) because he is essentially
playing Lewis Black throughout. Think Sam Kinneson,
playing essentially Sam Kinneson in Back
To School.
Accepted? I say… rejected!
 Presentation
It’s a modern Hollywood comedy with a typical
modern Hollywood comedy budget (probably somewhere under
$10 million.) It ain’t Superman
Returns money,
but $10 million is still a hell of a lot of money. Hell,
it’s a fucking fortune… and probably more
than this movie deserves. That being said, it looks
and sounds just fine. Crisp picture with bright vibrant
colors and a healthy, decent sound mix. A movie like
this will look fine on your shiny new HD flatscreen
monitor… although it will probably look just
as good on your video iPod. Crank up your stereo, knock
yourself out. See if I care.
Extras
Here is where they simply dazzle you with goodies.
I mean, this disc is really loaded up with stuff. Some
good, some not-so-good, but I sat through every second
of it. The featurettes you can take or leave. If you
care about the film or the actors at all, it’s
worth its moments. Same goes for the PC-only movie MP3s.
The deleted scenes are pretty interesting and occasionally
funny. The cast of this film did a lot of improvising,
so most of the deleted scenes are alternate takes and
extended scenes. A lot of funny wound up on the floor.
Remember, a first-time director is going to be the bitch
boy of the studio. Executive notes ain’t just “notes,” they’re
orders. Between fighting them and dancing with the MPAA,
there is probably more unused funny than the deleted
scenes show.
The gag reel was actually more humorous than most
misnamed gag reels. You actually get the sense that
this cast really enjoyed making this movie and had a
lot of fun on set. It’s too bad that sense of
joy didn’t translate to the screen.
The campus tour and the music videos should totally
be skipped. If you dare challenge my opinion, you will
only find yourself validating it… and less 15
minutes of your life.
The real meat of the extras here, the real keeper,
is the commentary. Shocked? Well, you should be. See,
I’m a commentary-phobe. I almost never listen
to them in my real life, only braving them for you,
my dear readers. I won’t go into the million reasons
why I avoid them and get right to this one. It was goddamn
funny! I mean, really funny. You saw that big ol’ list
of who was on it, right? Well, they’re all in
the same room together. None of that fancy multi-track, “the
magic of editing” stuff. It truly is like a big
party. Imagine if all of your pals got together and
made a movie and then you watched it with them. This
is what that would sound like… assuming that
you are a complete social retard who not only didn’t
make the movie with your pals, you have nothing to offer
to the discussion while they watch it. Now,  granted,
they talk over each other an awful lot on the commentary.
At times, it feels like The View on fast forward. Johnah
Hill (the big fat load in the perm from the movie) totally
dominates the conversation. He sure does love to hear
himself talk. He can be pretty hilarious, but an insufferable
dick as well. I actually felt bad for the rest of the
group… even Black, king of the blustery filibuster.
But they bring the funny and bring it hard. You can
see that everyone probably assumed from exchanges like
this on set, that they would wind up with a new classic
to add to the pantheon. Like I said before, this stuff
just didn’t translate to the finished product.
Anyway, if you are gonna get this movie anyway, totally
check out that commentary track. Don’t watch it
instead of the movie, though. They talk so damn much,
I think they only let in four or five lines of movie
dialogue and those are probably to cover the piss breaks.
You’ll have needed to see the movie first for
any of the conversation to have context.
OK, I mentioned the funny trailer for this film. I
remember that it even included scenes not seen in the
final feature. Well, guess what? It isn’t on here.
If there is one thing that pisses me off with the DVD
format, it is the ability to include the trailer, yet
the utter disregard for it. Fuck you Universal. Instead,
we get a bunch of shit at the top of the program for
things like American Pie: Naked
Mile, Balls Of Fury,
and You, Me And Dupree. Oh, there is a teaser for Hot
Fuzz though, and THAT looks like some comedy gold!
Wrap-up
It’s not a classic by any stretch of the imagination.
It should never be uttered in the same breath as the
greats. Fuck you Mr. Chupnick, you internet hack. I’ll
see that you are disbarred from the League Of Internet
Movie Critics. 
I was disappointed by what thiscould have been, but
wasn’t. It has most of the pieces in place, backed
up by a cool idea with loads of potential. Iblame
Universal, the MPAA, and all of the lamos out there
who took inspiration from the great comedies, yet forgot
the very elements that made them great.
Rent it, don’t buy it. Listen to the commentary.
Immediately forget that you ever saw Accepted; and with
that generic title, you most certainly will. Instead,
rent Animal House. You’ll thank me.
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