I somewhat idolize Uwe Boll.
His House
Of The Dead is a brilliant piece of cinema. It
is such a gleefully inept film, it has had me in hysterics
more than any comedy this millennium, making it infinitely
rewatchable. Alone
In The Dark wasn't as enjoyable, but it
still had some laughably bad moments. Unlike House,
though, they are spaced out with much boredom in-between. Blackwoods, Sanctimony,
and Heart Of America (Boll’s previous
three films) are all direct-to-TV efforts - if that. Yet while
all of these films are at times comedy gold, they are still
pretty goddamn bad.
 BloodRayne attempts to cure this, and at times it does. The most obvious
thing about the film is its surprisingly diverse cast. Kristanna
Loken (the T-X from Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines)
plays Rayne, a half-breed vampire, or “dhamphir,”
as they are called here. Ben Kingsley (yes, Gandhi)
is her full-blooded vampire father, and a fairly large asshole
at that. Michael "Are you gonna bark all day, little
doggy, or are you gonna bite?" Madsen plays one of the
main vampire killers of the Brimstone Society. Meat Loaf plays
a Caligula-like vampire pimp. I shit you not. Finally, rounding
out the cast is Michelle Rodriguez, the tough-as-nails bitch
from Resident Evil, S.W.A.T. and The Fast And The Furious. Billy Zane
is also present, spewing a few great one-liners although ultimately
underused.
The story is typical vampire territory. It is set in the
1700s in Europe where Kagan (Kingsley) is planning a vampire
takeover of the world. Rayne hasn’t yet developed an
understanding of who she is and is treated as a circus freak
showcasing her ability to cure injuries by drinking animal
blood. When one of the carnival performers attempts to rape
her and is ultimately killed, she gets her first taste of
human blood and goes absolutely ape-shit on the entire carnival,
including her best friend, killing them all. This gets the
attention of the Brimstone Society, a group of vampire hunters
that Rayne eventually joins forces with to bring down Kagan,
the asshole that made her what she is.
Uwe Boll went on record during production that he was going
for the "Hardest 'R' possible." I believe it. I
haven't seen this much gore on American screens in a long
time. The unrated cut presented on this DVD is even more graphic
than the theatrical release. Nowhere is this more noticeable
than in the epilogue, which even I have to say seems pretty
out of place. There is a sex scene with Rayne and some douche
bag (played by some douche bag) that was  actually
filmed pretty well. It’s relatively kinky and steamy
since she basically fucks the hell out of him against a prison
cell door. In fact, overall the direction isn’t as bad
as the name “Boll” would suggest. If it wasn't
for some shaky red filter cam shots that were waaaaay overused
in the early portions of the film, there really wasn't much
to laugh at; not technically anyway. Kingsley was awesome.
Udo Kier (who is so awesome that he actually made his three
seconds in Fear Dot Com worth watching) was
totally awesome for his five minutes of screen time. Michele
Rodriguez and Michael Madsen don't really seem to fit at all
- but that seems to be standard in most films they both star
in. But all in all, BloodRayne looks good,
sounds good, and is enjoyable entertainment on a legitimate
level. Considering Boll’s track record, this was a bigger
surprise than anything the film threw at me.
 As
far as capturing the mood of the game (and I own, have played,
and beaten both) it doesn't; but since there is over a 150-year
difference between the movie and the first game, Rayne’s
character really is much more naive, and is appropriately
portrayed as such. They got the costumes and weaponry down
correctly, but I found the character - when taken as a younger
version of the one I am familiar with - was pretty spot on.
Sure I would have loved to see Rayne slash her way through
Nazis like in the first video game. Sure I would have loved
to see Loken in that evening dress slicing shit up as Rayne
did in the second game. But they got the slicing and slashing
right, and I for one love BloodRayne because
of it.
Now, I am not going to say it is a great film at ALL. There
are completely pointless subplots that add nothing. There
are characters that could have been fleshed out more and a
few that should have stuck around longer than they did. There
was “shaky Boll cam” when there need not be, and
the ending was pretty sudden and ill-conceived. But I have
seen every Boll film released in America, and it is certainly
a huge step up from his previous work.
Presentation
The video looks really good
here. It is presented in anamorphic widescreen with a pretty
solid 5.1 sound mix. BloodRayne is very dark
at times, and that is transferred extremely well on this DVD.
Although this is a recently released film, so there shouldn’t be many defects. Subtitles are available in English and Spanish.
A DTS mix would have been nice, but what is included here
is exactly what any fan of this film could have wanted.
Extras
Feature-length Commentary – Boll’s commentary on House Of The Dead is legendary, and his commentary on Alone In The Dark is brilliantly insightful and amazingly bitter. BloodRayne isn’t quite as stellar as his prior commentaries, although
this is more due to the distracting additional participants.
However, Uwe does come off a bit more cheery  this
time, allowing actors Will Sanderson and Kristanna Loken to
make cracks at him over his accent and improper enunciation
of words. Uwe himself jokes about how he was over-dependent
on flashbacks by commenting how “at least I didn’t
use a five-minute scrawl.” There is solid information
to be gotten from this commentary. You can tell that all the
participants, not just Uwe, are happy with the final outcome,
and they should be, as this is easily Boll’s most competent
film to date. One thing to note is that the participants all
talk about a second commentary with the effects crew yet there
is nothing of the sort on this DVD. Two producers are also
included on this track, but they don’t say much of interest
except an awesome discussion mentioning how much of an alcoholic
Michael Madsen really is.
CGI
Making of the Film – (5:19) This could have been
so much more. Basically this is a silent segment of clips
that show before and after CGI effects. Without narration
describing the process, it seems pretty worthless.
Story
Boards – Five pages of incredibly small unidentifiable
storyboards for one or more sequences that I can’t make
out for the life of me. This would have been much better with
some sort of explanation, even if text. A lazy inclusion.
 Dinner
with Uwe – (47:34) This was a treat. IGN’s
Chris Carle and resident eye-candy, know-nothing Jessica Chobot
interview Uwe over some Thai food and wine (Diet Mountain
Dew in Uwe’s case) and discuss BloodRayne and his previous films. This is a very long interview, but
for anyone interested in Boll, it is a great piece. Nothing
is more entertaining than hearing him defend his work. Boll
is less delusional here than he’s been in other interviews,
talking freely about what went wrong on House Of The
Dead and why Tara Ried isn’t the best choice
for a dramatic actress. This is a great round-table, made
even better with Jessica shutting up as often as possible.
If you are going to buy or rent this, check it out.
Theatrical
Trailer – (1:35)
This trailer is painstakingly average and looks as though
this was a made-for-television film. It’s presented
here in non-anamorphic widescreen, which is entirely indicative
of its quality.
Complete
BloodRayne 2 DVD-ROM video game for PC - Disc 2 is entirely
made up of the complete BloodRayne 2 video
game. This was an exceptional follow-up to the first game
which allowed for more exciting moves and combos to slash
up people looking to overthrow the Brimstone Society. After
you watch Rayne fuck shit up in the movie, you can fuck shit
up with her on your PC. This is a great feature for people
who aren’t already familiar with the game. As near as
I can tell, it is completely identical to the retail release
(although, to be fair, I own the Xbox version so I can’t really compare).
 The
Bottom Line
BloodRayne really took me by surprise I since
came in with the lofty expectation of another “Worst.
Film. Ever.” experience, but received a surprisingly
almost-legitimate film. I am torn. I’m torn between
disgust that I am no longer getting cinematic feces from Boll
and happiness that he is actually growing as a director.
Still, I think that people who like cheesy B-films should
give it a shot. It is certainly better structured than anything
else Boll has ever done, and you won't need a five-minute
narrated opening scrawl to explain it either. This is, in
nearly every way, great vampire fun, and wherever there is
great vampire fun to be had, you will find me ready to have
it.
Break out the popcorn. BloodRayne is five-star
bloody good entertainment in every way.
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