Damn. When Trainspotting first hit, boy did I ever looove that flick. All that loud, hip music. The swearing. The thick accents. The prolific drug use. The freeze frames to introduce certain characters. Oh yeah. At the time, that was the cutting edge of “cool” filmmaking (at least by my limited standards). Today, well, I still dig the film a bunch I guess, but my mental film vocabulary has grown so much beyond the experience that was viewing Trainspotting as a teenager that it took a $3 Korean import before I managed to actually purchase it on DVD. Begbie would not be pleased with me.

Well, it seems there are others out there who not only also really dug the flick, but who must have made it a goal in life to mimic the Trainspotting template if they ever found themselves on the creative side of the camera when they got all growed up. If that indeed was director Nick Love’s goal, then I am sure The Football Factory makes him very proud.

The Football Factory centers on a young Brit named Tommy who is pushing 30 and enjoys living life not specifically for drugs, but for brawling. Some head splitting. A bit of the ultra violent, if you will. You see, we here in the U.S., well, we’re a bunch of pussies. When we dig a team, the first thing we do is buy a jersey or a cute lil’ bumper sticker or one of those a- DOR-able bobble head guys to go on our desk at the office. But real sports fans, real football fans, they get together to beat the living shit out of each other. It’s fun, evidently. So through Tommy we get to meet a colorful menagerie of friends, whack jobs and screw ups who all really dig the hooligan lifestyle. Naturally, this journey into Tommy’s life would not be complete without quick cuts, pulsating music, and a wild and varied usage of the word “cunt” -- and so we are treated to them aplenty. At a crossroads, Tommy begins to doubt his freewheeling lifestyle when he shows some real concern for his grandfather’s well being. Suspecting an imminent royal ass kicking might be coming up in his own future doesn't much help.

The comparisons are unavoidable and something I’m sure the filmmakers hate whenever it comes up, for come up I’m sure it does. Right down to the first person narration and the pals with the funny names, it’s pretty much Trainspotting. Mind you, it’s not really a bad rip off of Trainspotting. It’s loud and brash and testosterone-fueled. Sometimes you need that from a movie. The brawls, of which there are more than a couple, are quite intense. The sense of danger in these scenes is tangible, even from the vantage point of my comfy living room furniture. They're among the most brutal and visceral I’ve ever experienced. Quite the achievement, since it’s all fake with very little blood. With these sorts of moments, you really have to understand the art of blocking and when to cut, when not to cut, those sorts of things. Otherwise, especially with such a huge tangle of people, it is really is just a movie. Director Nick Love clearly gets that. It’s these moments which are really quite masterful. Organized chaos at its best. The narrative structure and the style of the film might be cribbed from elsewhere, but the illusion of realism in these mob scenes certainly deserves to be examined further.

Not everything works as well as the fight scenes, however. The whole subplot with the grandfather feels extemporaneous. As an audience we are supposed to compare the self-made street armies of today’s Britain to the real, honest to goodness armies that fought during WWII via grandpa, but the breakneck speed of the film comes to a grinding halt every time he pops up. Even though thematically it might be sound, it just doesn’t fit. Too bad, that, for it’s a clever conceit.

Oh well, he’s just a fucking cunt of a cunting geezer.

(Sorry, it’s infectious. I spoke in cockney rhyming speak for two months solid after watching Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels… and I didn’t even like that movie!)

How’s It Look, Smartguy? 
This is a beautiful transfer. I noted this film was produced by Rockstar Games, of all companies, so I imagine they are the reason why this is so technically solid. Being a video game company and all, I guess they really would want to concentrate on the presentation since that’s pretty much their domain. It’s quality stuff. No complaints. None at all.

How’s It Sound, Ya Bum?
Same goes for the sound, too. As I said before, this is a loud and busy movie at times, so expect your surround system to get a workout.

You Think I Just Wanted The Movie, Pal?
First up is a commentary track with the director and the chap who played Tommy. Both men are clearly damned proud of what they made and had a good time making it, too. It really comes across on this track and it’s kind of hard to not get swept up in their enthusiasm.

Next is a 33-minute documentary entitled The Making Of The Football Factory that is just as entertaining as the film itself. Lots of guys being guys loving that they get paid to pretend they are beating the crap out of each other.

Some trailers and TV spots come next.

Finally, you get treated to a photo gallery as well as some production art.

Bring Us On Home, Brother
Pretty much no football is involved at all, really. The only time you even see a soccer… erm… football is when some kids are knocking one about. This one’s all about the futility of life and loss of youth. So, if the thought of Trainspotting gives you the horn so bad you need to knock the granny out of your bird, you might want to give The Football Factory a butchers. Fuckin’ cunts.

No. I’m not that sure what all that means either.