 Springsteen,
Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2, and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids, in high school
They tell her that she's uncool
But she's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985
Woo-hoo-hoo
The above lyrics belong to a song that has since joined the
pantheon of “Fluff Songs That Get Played Too Damned Much
On the Radio.” It’s catchy in the way that you feel
awful for even hearing it the first time and the lyrics both
make you roll your eyes in disgust but provide at least one
smirk, though you would never admit it to anyone you know that
has taste. It’s a calculated grab at the pop song ring
that relies on tried and true hooks as well as the wave of Eighties
nostalgia/style. After it’s all over you know that you
don’t like it, you wish you didn’t hear it in the
first place, but yet you still understand why other people might
be drawn to it.
That brings me nicely to Napoleon Dynamite.
Napoleon Dynamite is a movie in much the
same way that Bowling for Soup ditty is a song. As many of
you know by now, there are two camps: "Those That Dig Napoleon Dynamite" and "Those That
Do Not Dig Napoleon Dynamite". As an
objective individual, I will not come outright and say in
which camp I pitch my tent, but instead I will attempt to
tell you why "Those That Dig Napoleon Dynamite"
are 100% FUCKING WRONG. I prefer to remain cryptic that way.
Adds to the mystery.
Napoleon
Dynamite (Jon Heder) is a mouth-breathing high school outcast
who doesn’t seem to be too shaken up about being one.
At home you would find his steak-lovin’ grandma, his
32 year-old chat room obsessed brother (Aaron Ruell) and a
pet alpaca. At school, you would see him playing tetherball
by himself and talking in monotone to his new friend Pedro
(Efren Ramirez). His life changes for the same when grandma
gets injured riding the dunes so his Uncle Rico (Jon Gries)
moves in to take care of them, he finds that he and Pedro
have designs on the same girl (Tina Majorino), and various
other plot elements that serve less to move the film anywhere
and  more to provide a “humorous” situation for
that moment. It doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t.
Director/writer Jared Hess obviously has
a raging one for hipster directors such as Wes Anderson, for
you can see the forced attempts at quirk all over this movie.
In Anderson’s films you might have a difficult time
remembering in what time period the story takes place due
to his penchant for 60’s British Invasion flavor but
there is an honesty to it all. Napoleon Dynamite with all
of its 80’s-ness doesn’t have an honest bone in
its gangly little body. From the concept of economy in storytelling
to the symmetrical shots that proliferate the screen, it’s
all very Wes-esque, but without the heart. What also really
hurts this film is Hess’s love for deadpan humor and
the fact that his actors don’t really seem to understand
it. Heder as Napoleon is the only actor who seems to get it
and he is the only person in the whole movie that seems to
have created a fully realized character, albeit an annoying
one. Everyone else just seems to be of the mind that as long
as you talk really, really bored, with no inflection in your
voice, that you have mastered the art of deadpan. Any scene
with Napoleon and Pedro is EXCRUCIATING due to this and any
scene with Napoleon, Pedro and love interest Deb is even moreso.
Of course, no matter what I say this movie will continue
to be embraced on college campuses across the US, quotes will
be flying left and right like spitballs and another mediocre
movie will get much more attention then it deserves. So perhaps
I should just give in and join the other “cool kids.”
As Napoleon would say “Maybe I will. GOSH.”
How Does It Look,
Smartguy?
This film is presented on a flipper disc with the full
screen version on one side and an anamorphic widescreen version
on the other. Both are fairly clean transfers the same of care
one should expect for a movie that was in the theatres within
a year of its DVD release. Minimal artifacting and no haloing
that I detected, but the blacks certainly could have been blacker.
I did notice that every once in a while some shots were blurrier
than others and I have a feeling that is due more to the transfer
itself than the director forgetting to focus the camera. I’m
willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, in that case.
All in all, above average.
How's It Sound, Ya Bum?
You get an English 5.1 Dolby and a Spanish 2.0 surround.
This is not the most active movie, sound wise, so most of the
action is up front anyway, but it’s a perfectly fine audio
track that is just as good as any recent release.
You Think I Just
Wanted The Movie, Pal?
There is a COMMENTARY TRACK by director/writer
Hess, producer Jeremy Coon and Napoleon himself, Heder. The
track is a mess. Laid back is one thing, but these guys are
positively laconic. Don’t do it.
A making-of FEATURETTE entitled The Wedding
of the Century concerns a scene that appears at the end
of the credits. I didn’t stick around to see it finished
so why would I watch the “making of” bit, huh?
A ten minute SHORT called Peluca is also included. This is the embryonic
form of Napoleon Dynamite and it even stars
Heder as a fella who is not too dissimilar to the title character
of this very film. It’s all just as annoying, only shorter.
If you haven’t had your fill yet, there are some MTV
spots and a TRAILER to finish you off.
Bring Us On Home,
Brother
This is the new “hip” movie for people who think
they know what “hip” is, but it’s actually
just a poorly constructed deadpan comedy that hides its shortcomings
by peddling the oh so trendy 80’s style. If you’re
intelligent you will see right through this and not join the
masses of individuals who I am sure are already plastering
their dorm with oversized Napoleon Dynamite posters.
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