Naturally, when the age-old debate of The Brady Bunch vs. The Partridge Family emerges (as it often does… mostly in my head), Shirley Jones’ clan claims the honor each and every time.  For starters, Florence Henderson couldn’t hold a candle to Shirley Jones.  Shirley was a M.I.L.F., tried and true.  And, since I somehow managed to get on the subject of sex already, let’s not forget about Susan Dey as the eldest Partridge girl… granted, those teeth of hers weren’t so hot, but that’s why duct tape as invented, right?

So, let’s see here: so far, the Bradys only had one doable chick in the house (and you know who that would be… no, not Alice!  I meant Marcia!) whereas the Partridges had two -- count ‘em, two -- babes living under the same roof.  And they were both single, too.  And then there’s that David Cassidy guy… if I didn’t know any better (and most of the time, I don’t), I would inadvertently buy him a drink and proceed to hit on him, mistaking him for a very flat-chested girl...and the subsequent discovery of his male genitalia would no doubt surprise me… but at that point, we’d both be so drunk that it wouldn’t matter.

Enough of that, though… I’m starting to feel a little frisky… that must be why they threw Danny Bonaduce on the show… so that his very appearance would suppress all sexual urges that any human being may have had.  And how does one explain Danny Partridge, anyway?  The mom?  Very good looking.  The oldest kids?  Also very attractive.  The younger kids?  Well, they were kids, you sick bastard!  But Danny on the other hand was the very epitome of the ugly freckled red-headed stepchild… only sans the stepchild factor… as far as we know, that is...I mean, The Brady Bunch at least showed a picture of Mike Brady’s deceased wife (in the Pilot Episode), but The Partridge Family however kept the demise and identity of their father completely hush-hush!  There’s a good reason for that, too: you see, the real story is that Shirley killed her husband when he discovered that Danny, Chris, and Tracy were actually the illegitimate offspring of the musical family’s manager, Mr. Rueben Kincaid!  Ha-ha!  The truth is at long last revealed!  And you read it here, folks… at DVD In My Pants.com!

OK, OK, onto the Season: this 3-Disc set includes all twenty-five episodes of the beloved 70s television series, with highlights including the big war of the sexes battle where Laurie (Dey) kicks the ass of Keith’s would-be bully, totally humiliating the male race in the process; Keith (Cassidy) gets his groove on with a visiting foreign princess; and Danny attempts to lose weight… but only if his biological father, Rueben (Dave Madden), quits smoking (it’s so weird to see people smoking around a houseful of kids, incidentally).  And those are just the first couple Episodes on Disc One -- and there’s more fun where that came from!

And no, the younger kids, Chris (Brian Forster) and Tracy (Suzanne Crough), still aren’t given anything to do in this season but sit there and read off their two lines per episode.

Presentation
Newly remastered in High Definition, The Partridge Family The Complete Third Season is given a vivid rebirth on DVD thanks to the efforts of Sony Pictures Home Entertainment and the original Full Frame presentations of these classic episodes look better than ever, with some lush colors and only the smallest amounts of grain (mainly during the credit sequences and stock footage… which is to be expected).

Every episode is given an English 2-Channel Mono Stereo track which sounds about as good as an English 2-Channel Mono Stereo track from 1972 could sound.   No Subtitles are included, but Closed Captioning is available.

Extras
The first two Seasons released on DVD featured little more than a handful of Trailers in the decidedly un-special Special Features department.  The Third Season doesn’t fare much better, save for the addition of two Minisodes, one for Diff’rent Strokes (“The Trial”, 4:54) and another for Charlie’s Angels (“Angels On Wheels”, 6:03).  The handful of Trailers is still here, and this time they consist of bottom-of-the-barrel Feature Films The Perfect Holiday, This Christmas, Kabluey, My Mom’s New Boyfriend, When Did You Last See Your Father?, and Fireproof.

The Bottom Line
C’mon, Get Happy, people!  And tell The Brady Bunch that they can go to Hell!