Maclane plays Norah Benson, a rather vapid socialite who has lived with money for so long, you can just imagine the phrase “Do you know who I am” fly through her mouth at any moment in time. Norah’s the big sister of Joel Delaney, who has recently moved into his deceased friend’s apartment. Joel’s friend Tonio just happened to be a psychotic killer decapitating young women in Central Park, by the way, so you can see what kind of company Joel keeps. He might have been murdered by his father six months prior, but Tonio’s soul has managed to enter Joel’s body, forcing him to do things, unnatural things, evil things.

Despite the fact that Norah goes to Spanish Harlem and gets in contact with fire walking Voodoo priests, she still can’t accept the theory that her brother is possessed by Satan Tonio – obviously a bad choice. Unable to take her brother’s growing insanity/possession, Norah, the thinker than she is, takes her kids and retreats to a secluded beach house. Joel, the thinker that he is, tracks them down, only to torture them in ways that would make Eli Roth writhe around in displeasure.

I feel kind of sick saying it, but the ending of the film is all The Possession of Joel Delaney has – a monstrous little bit of Grand Guignol featuring switchblades, naked children and dog food that comes off like Paramount trying to one-up the exploitation flicks of the day. But that’s what The Possession of Joel Delaney does to you – it presents to you something so bland, so paint-dryingly dull that when you’re faced with a naked child being given a dog food swirlie, your interest perks up no matter what. The movie’s pacing is so snail-like, you will sigh in relief when the children get cut up.

I can’t be the only one, right?

Despite how heinous the ending is (Roger Ebert uses the word “bankrupt” in his review of the film multiple times, and he wrote Beyond The Valley Of The Ultra Vixens!), a bankrupt conclusion isn’t going to improve the previous 90-minutes of the film.

Presentation
Legend Films might deserve props for putting out the film, along with a slew of other cult titles (including motherfuckin’ Student Bodies, motherfucker), but the presentation, and I’m assuming the film elements themselves, are pretty rundown. While the print is mostly free of harsher defects – dirt, scratches, burns, cuts and what-have-you – it’s still dull, a tad too red (I think, a friend of mine just gave me a television and I haven’t touched the video settings– I now have four televisions, by the way), full of grain and just dull. Legend tends to go overboard on their own properties, remastering, even colorizing a few of their titles, and it’s strange to see this film in such a condition.

Ditto the audio. So inconsequential, I don’t even have to write about it. I’m tweezing the hair off my big toe instead of describing the audio to you, it’s so insignificant. Besides, I’ve got a court date this week. There’s bigger fish to fry.

Extras
Nothing. Nada. You get zip. No Shirley MacLane commentary track. No Perry King posthumous retrospective. And you know what? I’m thankful about that.

The Bottom Line
The Possession of Joel Delaney wants to have its cake and eat it too, but the minimal high-points (and I’m using the term “high-points” loosely just so I don’t come off as too weird) just don’t make up for the low-points that make up roughly 90% of the film.