Editor's Note: After reading the review, check out Miss Conduct Rolls Hard: The DIMP Interview for more Rollergirl action!

Now, I’m not all that familiar with reality television, but my understanding is, the genre is supposed to present to the home viewer a glimpse into the real life of its subject(s), stripping away the sheen of mainstream convention and simply showing you exactly what real life is – no scripts, no staging, just fly-on-the-wall documentation. That ran through my mind as I sat down to watch Rollergirls because… Well… Despite the whole “reality” conceit, the show plays out routinely, sometimes alarmingly so.

The entire series is littered with generic moments that make one wonder if the show hadn’t been scripted with the help of a dozen after school specials. Let’s see, there’s the upstart rookie who’s just breaking into the game but is already well respected (Episode one, The Rookie), the elder stateswoman who retired (to stay by her sickly mother’s side – bonus points!) but now wants to come back to the game despite the ire of some on the committee (Episode 3, The Snack is Back. PS: Guess what the outcome of the episode is!), the overcoming a potentially deadly sickness in order to keep up on your game (Episode five: The C Word), and let’s not forget the faux lesbianism that seems to be required whenever a bunch of drunken girls get together (episode six: Love Boat).

And really, when lesbianism comes off as banal and cliché, it might be time to find a new trick.

As you can tell by the above description, the touchy-feely “feminist” angle (which roughly consists of a “Girls rock!” mentality) comes into play more often than you would expect considering the whole “all-female roller derby” concept. You might throw in this DVD collection in hopes for hot girls wearing revealing outfits (which are totally inaccurate by the way. These girls are covered in so much protective gear; I would assume making love to them would be like making love to Devo – a thought that I entertain whenever listening to them. And I’ve got dibs on Mark.) and beating each other up actually turns out to be a bunch of girls sitting around, backstabbing each other, making up, talking about their feelings and swooning over boys.

The female-empowerment angle is especially funny, considering each girl is named like a horse in The Kentucky Derby (the award for worst anything goes to the name “Clownsnack”). And what’s up with the fat girls that seem to pop up in various episodes and yet are never actually spotlighted? That seems especially cruel.

But I admit that the show is compulsively watchable. Each episode is structured so that you spend roughly 35 minutes getting to know the characters before their big bout is presented in truncated form. It’s almost like brainwashing: you spend enough time getting to know the people and it’s only natural to feel nervous for each individual when they’re out tumbling over each other on the rink, no matter that each episode seems to end in expected close-call matches.

Presentation
Shot on video, Rollergirls looks very nice. The colors are bright, the image is sharp (as far as video goes, of course), and the overall look of the series is quite cinematic. However, for some reason or another, the series is presented in non-anamorphic widescreen. Now, my television is roughly 15 years old so I can’t truly sympathize, but I can understand why this will make a few people out there wince. But despite being non-anamorphic, it’s fairly swell.

The audio comes in a basic stereo soundtrack. Considering that most of each episode is dedicated to studying the people onscreen, you’re probably going to crank it up to hear what’s being said – and then be completely irritated when the loud rock music comes roaring in at high volumes.

Also of note on the presentation: Rollergirls is presented in semi-censored form. What this means is that a few instances of the word “shit” are allowed to fly through, but anything past that is blanked out. Obscenities are also blurred. Why not go all the way and release it completely uncensored? Oh well, at least you get “shit.”

Extras
While it’s not an eye-opening collection of special features, there are a few interesting tidbits to be had here. Split across discs one and four, disc one concentrates on both the game itself (and trust me, if you’re not versed in the sport of All-Girl Roller Derby, the Anatomy of a Bout and text-based glossary are going to be a big help – check these out before watching the series if needed) and the girls, which include a collection of casting tapes (interviews) and text-based biographies, which are quite interesting. For example, did you know besides being a lover of marijuana, Sister Mary Jane (number 420 – is this woman 12?!) also teaches a special education class? I did not!

Disc four’s main extra is a bonus episode, titled Confessions of a Rollergirl. Though only 20 minutes long, if you want to learn more about the girls (and admittedly the series overall is more about the present and future, rather than delving deep into the girls’ past), or if you just dug the series overall, you’ll enjoy the feature.

The extras wrap up with Team Profiles, a collection of clips from the series that show off three teams (mostly culled from the series, so these feel a bit redundant), and finally Player Profiles which show off individual players and the techniques they use in the game.

The Bottom Line
Broken down, Rollergirls can be described as being like various groups of high school cliques being forced to battle to the death in Thunderdome. Actually, that’s kind of sexy. In fact, I’m going to pitch that concept to SpikeTV. See you suckers later!