This is a tender young tale about a young girl called Misty (played by, you guessed it, Misty Mundae) who goes on vacation to visit her aunt Inga (Julian Welles). At night, she spies on her masturbating aunt and lustful urges awake in her. Over the week Misty spends with her aunt she gets herself into various sexual scenarios, almost one each day – a pretty awesome ratio.

I feel compelled to go into the plot a little more, but I don’t know what is considered spoilerish. Fuck it, it isn’t like anyone is going to watch this anyway.

Misty watches her aunt masturbate. They go shopping. Misty meets the neighbor boy who reminds me completely of Vinnie from Doogie Howser, M.D. She blows him and he bounces. She gets sad and so her aunt teaches her how to masturbate (naturally by helping). She goes out with the neighbor boy again and goes all the way. Then she watches her aunt with her girlfriend and gets aroused. Finally, she fucks her aunt, who in a SHOCKING revelation, isn’t really her aunt but instead just a good friend of Misty’s mother. How convenient. “Aunt Inga, teach me how to fuck!” Good thing they found a clever way to get out of all that incest nonsense.

Alright, let’s get this right out of the way. Pornography fascinates me as a medium much more than as a product. I don’t watch the Spice Channel, I don’t own any hardcore pornography (although I am not against it), and I certainly don’t have favorite porn stars. I realize that people do, and I am glad that we have that right and opportunity, but porn for the most part it isn’t part of my lifestyle. I am the type that actually does read the articles in Playboy. The movies that are part of my lifestyle are exploitation films where women run wearing as little as possible, often being chased by a killer. There may or may not be an animal skin bikini involved. So I dunno, maybe I’m off a few yards, too. What I can say is that The Seduction Of Misty Mundae should have been called Misty Mundane. It’s boring as hell, and so is every other movie or TV show made with the actor’s name in the titles (see also, Linda Lovelace For President, Breaking Bonaduce, or Tom Cruise Gets Mad Cow Disease And Dies). The scenes with the male couldn’t possibly be less erotic; it has an awful appearance of being staged. In fact, if it wasn’t for the pretty scenery (it was shot very well) and the overall finale, which is pretty steamy lesbian scene between the two leads, this movie would have nothing.

Now, as anyone who has read my reviews knows, I like shitty movies and lesbians. But while this is a shitty movie with lesbianism, it is shitty for all the wrong reasons.

Presentation
The Seduction Of Misty Mundae is presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen. It looks pretty. I really liked the autumn feel to the film and the colors on the leaves really stood out. From what I could tell, all tits looked lifelike and healthy. The sound was rather blah. I assume it is 2.0, but it could just as easily been mono. The score really isn’t anything to write home about, but well… they thought it was good enough to include a CD.

Extras
Commentary by director Michael Raso and editor Tony Marsiglia. Jesus Christ, could you be more self-congratulatory? Congratulations on finishing a movie, but don’t expect me to be thrilled by every single unoriginal nuance you think it has. This commentary is a complete waste of time. Interesting note: I am probably the only person who listened to this commentary… ever!

Interview with director Michael Raso (6:08) - Apparently, even though Misty’s name is in the title, it is not really about Misty. Michael Raso also misnames the film several times, referring to it as “The Temptation Of Misty Mundae.” Awesome level of professionalism. Almost as much of a waste as the film.

Behind-the-scenes featurette(3:10) - I learned nothing from this at all, except that I now think Julian is into the nose candy. Just check out the coke-nose on Julian Welles. Awesome. Julian rules, I want to party with her.

Julian Welles photo shoot(4:11) - Okay, this is pretty hot, I’ll admit it. Then again, I think that Julian is a beautiful woman. Nice to have this Misty-free extra on the set.

A Taste of Retro: Naughty Vintage Peep Show(10:10) - The Smoking Voyeur: Apparently this is a little 8mm looking strip tease from 1965. This is where your porn began. Respect it. It is actually pretty interesting to watch from a historical perspective. A neat extra.

Trailers for upcoming Seduction Cinema releases - Included in effort to gain more money are the trailers for several other Misty Mundae flicks. These include: Erotic Diary Of Misty Mundae, Lust For Dracula, Roxanna, Chantal, Sinful and this movie. Wow.

Compact disc: The Seduction of Misty Mundae Soundtrack by The Pink Delicates. The Pink Delicates? Riiiiiiiiiight. I think I will wait until the Kidz Bop group covers this.

And Now Some Parting Words
I get it. You want to be arty; you want to show the private and implausible story of a girl examining her own sexuality with the rest of New England free to help out. You want to be just like dozens of other films. Well, you succeeded, but you aren’t going to win any awards for it.

This movie blows.