 There
comes a time in the life of every teenager when they realize
that those older rockers their parents listened to were once
considered “cool” in some circles and a future
of love handles and reunion tours was never even a possibility.
These fogies that lend their songs to cruise line commercials
and radio jingles were once actual musicians. It is when that
sobering realization hits that the next natural progression
of thought occurs.
One
day, the bands I like will be older and out of shape.
Now, I’m not going to try to up my hipster cred by
lying to you folks and proclaiming how much I dug ska pioneers
The Selecter back in the day. I will even one-up my honesty
to y’all and lay it all out on the table via the fact
that I never even heard of The Selecter before spinning this
very disc. Mind you, I’m no stranger to the ska lifestyle.
I always dug the way they dressed, they always made the ginchiest
bumper stickers… but it never stuck. The Specials, Mustard
Plug, Skankin’ Pickle; they just never found their way
nestled within my collection of Echo and the Bunnymen and
Joy Division. Go figure. Anyway, the great humbling of many
an individual who felt they possessed that certain “ageless”
quality is about to begin. The music you like… it’s
oooold. So are the bands that played it. If they are still
together, it’s either for a reunion tour or a rehashing
of the same old stuff. The Selecter: Live from London is a little of both.
Yup. They are a ska band from the late ‘70s and they’ve
got that Jamaican sound in every damned song. Most of the
band is ugly and out of shape and the crowd is even moreso.
The spectators don’t “pogo” so much as “gently
hop.” Lead singer Pauline Black seems to be in the best
shape out of all involved, and she’s not bad looking
in that androgynous sort of way, I guess, but I glazed over
after the songs once a minute passed for each. It says a lot
that the Ms Black’s mic was pretty well level but the
mics were turned down to the “so-low” position
for the rest of the band (as in “so low that I can’t
hear ya…”). It was pretty damned funny, actually.
Poor stupid bastards. Ska, you know? Someone can only say
“pickituppickituppickituppickitup” so many ways.
Hey,
if you like ska, more power to you. They play their “hit”
On My Radio (which I never heard before) as well as some of
their other classics such as Three Minute Hero (nope) and Too
Much Pressure (which I HAVE heard somehow. Must have been from
a past roommate or something…). This live concert was
filmed at  Dingwalls in London, so we aren’t talkin’
the Royal Albert Hall or anything, but the camera coverage was
staggeringly average. Sure, the venue is small, but a few crowd
shots here and there wouldn’t hurt anybody. Wait. I take
that back. I forgot about the dance party that went on during
Too Much Pressure. CHRIST. People, I must have looked away from
the tube for only a second or two, and before I knew it, Ms
Black was joined on stage by some of the ugliest fans I have
EVER SEEN… and I saw Tom Jones live, so I’ve seen
ugly fans. These dudes were uuuugly. Shaved heads, boots, suspenders
hanging from their dark blue jeans. Heeeeyyyyyyyy… what
kind of fan base does this band have, anyway?
How's It Look, Smart Guy?
Wow. This disc should win an award. Even when these shiny,
round things first came out, I don’t think I have EVER
seen a DVD this awful looking. There was pixellation-a-plenty
here, folks. Ugh. Star Wars Kid is in higher quality. The
case proudly proclaims “DIGITALLY FILMED” which
I’m sure ain’t no lie, but there’s a big
difference between Revenge
of the Sith digitally filmed and “naked college
girls with a webcam” digitally filmed. Shameful. Honestly
the worst I have seen.
How's It Sound,
Ya Bum?
5.1 Surround Sound that pretty much comes up wasted. Not much
coverage in the source material, anyway, so there wasn’t
much to work with, I guess. Comparatively, the sound is light
years ahead of the video, just not that dynamic. Serviceable.
 You
Think I Just Wanted The Movie, Pal?
Other than a short, self-serving BIOGRAPHY of the band and
how influential they were to Gwen Stefani, we get an EXCLUSIVE
INTERVIEW with Pauline Black herself and it’s conducted
by some guy trying to pretend that he knows stuff about her
band but keeps pronouncing things wrong and blowing the facts.
It’s an oddly confrontational interview and both involved
come off as arrogant, yet ignorant jerks. A slight disagreement
concerning how one of their songs sounds like The Police made
me chuckle (way to go, Hipster with a Clipboard), another
concerning the role DJs may or may not have played in getting
The Selecter’s music out there induced some snorting,
but the real highlight is as follows (more or less):
Hipster with Clipboard: So, your influences are pretty much
what I can assume. Bob Marley, the whole Rastafarian thing…
Pauline Black: No.
Certainly not Rastafarian. I would never consider one of my
influences to be Rastafarian.
Hipster with Clipboard: Really? Why not?
Pauline Black (offended): Because,
I AM A WO-MAN.
For a few seconds, both characters
blink at one another in silence, waiting for the full weight
of the moment to sink in. After realizing that it isn’t
ever really going to, they press on.
Priceless.
Bring Us On Home,
Brother
Pretty much the same old, same old for the whole ska thing.
Since these guys are supposed to be one of the pioneers, I
suppose that’s a good thing, but seeing that I grow
very weary, very fast of the whole ska thing, I sit here unimpressed.
Boasting a visual presentation that would be suitable for
radio and an interview that is neither informative nor inviting,
this is for fans only. If you want to see if you dig their
music, just go KaZaa it or something.
|
