Quick raise of hands… Who likes the Bond films Dr. No and Thunderball? Who likes Bond girls? Do you remember seeing these movies, envying Sean Connery and being disappointed that the blasted decontamination unit forbade you from seeing the goods Honey Ryder had to offer? Ever imagine yourself in that role, being seduced by agent of SPECTRE Fiona Volpe? If you have, you can stop reading this review, follow the amazon.com link and order The Sensuous Nurse (L’Infermeria), because this film is going to scratch the fantasy of seeing both beauties nude right off your list.

Of course, those of you looking for a mind-blowing, cinematic experience can stop reading now…

Awesome, the pervs and cult movie fans are still with me.

Readers: “Ursula Andress naked,” you say?

Shawn McLoughlin: Yes, I do say. But before we get into that, let me tell you what the movie is about – really, it will only take a minute.

See, Leonida Bottacin (Mario Pisu) is gonna die soon, or so his family believes. He's been struck with a seemingly untreatable case of Dirty Old Man Syndrome and, after his most recent sexual encounter, pretty much can’t do anything but mumble and moan “pussy” under his breath. Benito (Duilio Del Prete), his nephew, conspires with the rest of Leonida’s family to rid themselves of Leonida so they can take over the winery and sell it to Mr. Kitch (Jack Palance; yes THE Jack Palance). The problem is that Leonida doesn’t seem to want to die. Enter Benito’s fail-safe device, his ex-girlfriend Anna (Ursula Andress). Anna agrees to Benito’s plan, which essentially has her doing as many things as humanly possible to drive Leonida out of his mind with sexual desire, all the while nursing him back to health. While it may sound like Anna is the least direct hit (wo)man of all time, driving men crazy seems to be part of her daily routine.

Things don't stop there. Anna also attempts to get with Benito’s nephew, Adone Scarpa, who is reluctant because he thinks Anna really wants to kill Leonida. What Adone doesn’t seem to understand is that this is Ursulla Andress, and you don’t refuse to have sex with Honey Ryder. Obviously the kid has issues, like a ‘70s Napoleon Dynamite.

If those shenanigans are not enough, there's more to be had through the many colorful supporting characters, some of whom enjoy getting naked for the benefit of a voyeuristic audience. There is the household alcoholic, the housekeeper that runs around naked, a man obsessed with war, and other assorted personalities. Supporting characters are all they are though, mere window dressing for the Anna/Benito/Leonida story.

So there you have it. All the elements of a fun, sex romp film. Is there really anything more you need to know?

Oh yes, and Ursula Andress gets with the nakedness, with no clothes, and very nude – quite often… if you like that sort of thing. I know I do.

Presentation
The 1.66:1 anamorphic presentation is a step down from past NoShame Films titles. It certainly does the job, but the colors seem a bit more muted. I also noticed some grain, mostly in the poolside scenes and the ending. Perhaps they exist in other scenes as well, but if they do it is much less evident. Still, it is a fine transfer and fans of the movie aren’t going to complain. Audio is the expected Mono mixes, available in both original Italian and English. I always advocate using the original mix, but since both dubs (and they are both dubs) are ill-matched anyway, I actually enjoyed the English track a little more this time. It makes the feel of the film much more campy, and almost Benny Hill-ish. The drunkard’s English voice is especially hilarious. There is one scene in Benito’s office that had me puzzled though, as it has some burnt in Italian subs. I don’t understand the significance of having burned in subtitles, especially during conversations. This is odd, but it doesn’t distract from the film for more than about a minute of your time.

Extras
Calling the Nurse – (23:02) This is the main feature on this disc, besides Andress’ rack. It consists of almost a half hour of interviews with director Nello Rossati and costume designer Toni Rossati (whose name is oddly misspelled on the case). There are some good bits of information, but like some of the other NoShame interviews (see Story of a Love Affair) it could have been better edited. It would have been nice to have a different transition than the same clip of Ursula closing the doors over and over. More participants would have helped break up the monotony, too. Toni Rossati, being the costume designer, really doesn’t have much of interest to say, but it is obvious that he and Nello have fond memories of the film. I do like how they mixed up the credits music at the end though. Nice touch.

Original Italian Theatrical Trailer – (3:13) The trailer sells sex and humor. It does its job, but is hardly a technical or marketing marvel.

Poster and Still Gallery – (1:04) Thirteen various theatrical posters and production stills pass by, accompanied by the film’s theme.

In addition to these special features, NoShame includes its requisite booklet. In six pages, we are given two pages of excellent liner notes, a bio on actress Ursula Andress, and actor Jack Palance. All good reads, particularly the liner notes, which are a wealth of information. NoShame’s insert booklets are currently among best in the business, second only to maybe Criterion.

FIN
When it comes to making a good sex romp film… well it is kind of hard to use the word “good.” The most that you can probably hope for is to end up with something watchable, reasonably sexy and mildly amusing. The Sensuous Nurse is pretty much that, and it doesn’t try to be much more. Due to the free-wheeling sexuality, fun script and some clever choreography, this comes with my recommendation; however, I would not use this as a starting point for the best Italy has to offer.