 Did you
ever watch Thunderbirds and wish that it
contained some more serious dramatic content? After viewing Team
America: World Police, were you ecstatic
to finally see a full blown marionette movie but left wishing
it was more Shakespearian in nature?
No.
Me neither.
Thankfully, for all those who have been clamoring for the
above, the Gods have bestowed upon us, Strings.
Now, when trying to review a movie, one attempts to be more
articulate in expressing their opinion towards a given movie.
“Good.” “Bad.” These are words that
just can’t stand on their own. I’ve been racking
my brain since viewing this work in an attempt to find the
perfect way to express my feelings in summing up this movie.
I have found perhaps the best way possible to do it through
the mantra I found myself saying aloud every few minutes:
“This is fuckin’ WEEEIRD!!!”
The plot, well, it’s pretty simple. King kills himself
by cutting his own head string, King’s evil brother
leads the strapping son to assume enemies of the kingdom murdered
him, son sets out to avenge father, son falls for chick who
is among these said enemies, King’s evil brother’s
henchman builds a new body for himself out of other marionettes’
parts… fuckin’ WEEEIRD.
Yup. The gimmick here is that these string driven characters
are not only aware that they are made of wood and attached
to long black chords; they have philosophies and fighting
techniques that address it, too. When an arm string is cut,
the hand needs to be replaced and restrung. When a child is
born, delicate strings fall from the heavens to tie on to
the little block of poplar. Need to climb a mountain? No problem.
Just grab a hold of your strings and climb up. Okay. Some
of this is clever in that nose-thumbing sort of way, and director Anders
Rønnow-Klarlund is able to squeeze out some oddly
beautiful imagery using these strings as extensions of the
people that inhabit this world, but the story itself, not
all that involving. Once you get past that “gee, aren’t
they clever” moments, you start drifting to that pile
of laundry that needs to get done. Perhaps it even hurts the
film a bit, too, that a wacky comedy such as Team
America: World Police comes to mind so
readily while attempting to digest it. Once “The Love
Scene” began, there was absolutely no way in hell that
I could stop myself from singing Only a Woman and imagining
the two characters involved, shitting on each other. Trust
me. That’s not something I usually find myself imagining
while viewing love scenes. Fuckin’ WIEEERD.
 The
voice actors involved are certainly top notch: Ian “Styuuu”
Hart, Derek “Stinky Somebody” Jacoby, Julian “Tanks,
You’re Welcome” Glover; but they can only do so
much here. In all fairness, the true “performers”
are the marionettes themselves. Sure, marionette artists are
just a few steps away from “mime” in my book, but
DAMN, is there some skill crammed into this move. Even though
the faces aren’t articulated and the mouths don’t
move, such a wide variety of emotion is indeed obtained due
to their efforts, and the direction of Anders Rønnow-Klarlund.
For the art form, I am sure this movie is viewed as a benchmark
and will be discussed and appreciated by traveling motivational
puppeteers for years to come. While they attempt to show our
kids the dangers of drugs or the true value of the handi-capable,
this movie will always be at the back of their minds as the Citizen Kane of marionette movies. Myself?
I stick to my “fuckin’ WIEEERD” stance, and
still proudly proclaim that The Dark Crystal will always fit my needs for a serious, fantasy-based puppet
movie.
 How's It Look,
Smart Guy?
Not so hot. We’ve got a lazy transfer going on
here, folks. Grainy, grainy, grainy. I usually let a few darkly
lit shots slide when I watch something on DVD, for sometimes
that gain needs to be upped while filming and that digital
format ain’t the most forgiving in those instances.
In this case, however, most of the grain here was just pure
shitty workmanship. Sure, it’s anamorphic widescreen,
but that will just give you the chance to appreciate the crappy
transfer in all of its glory.
How's It Sound, Ya Bum?
Not too bad. 5.1 Dolby Digital that rarely takes full advantage
of the epic tone the movie tried to capture. A good mix here
could have really helped the movie seem even bigger, but it's
serviceable. My BIGGEST complaint, however, is the lack of
a Danish track. Granted, not usually a complaint of mine,
but in this case the original language WAS Danish, so I feel
I am justified.
You Think I Just
Wanted The Movie, Pal?
A BEHIND THE SCENES filler is included, and it's
pretty god awful, not to put too fine a point on it. Slapped
together, poorly edited, very little info. Ugh.
The TRAILER is there for your viewing pleasure and,
oddly, that too is in need of a haircut. Much like Return
of the King, it seems to end like three times. Fuckin’
WIEEERD.
FILMOGRAPHIES ho-hum, and a PHOTO GALLERY round it out.
Bring Us On Home, Brother
Yeah, you guessed it: “fuckin’ WIEEERD”
is pretty much all I have left in me at this point. Perhaps
more enjoyable whilst puffing on the hookah, the slower moments
might drift on by better and the full oddness might be quite
pleasant. Worth a rent just for the oddity of it.
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