Note: I, Shawn McLoughlin, would like to apologize in advance for this somewhat unconventional review. But I think you all would agree that a DVD that’s less than 30 minutes in length (including extras) upon which is based a shitty rap song that the 1985-86 Chicago Bears unwillingly participated in, deserves everything it has coming for it.

In our super-secret, accessible only via retinal scan staff forum, where all of the DIMP writers beg for DVDs like Leroy the bum outside your local liquor store, Cary Christopher warned me not to do it. His exact quote (completely used without his permission) when I said I would review this is as follows: 

“You poor, poor bastard...  
 
You realize that it will haunt your dreams. First the tune will not leave your head and then the gap in Refrigerator Perry's teeth with mesmerize you to the point where you'll actually think Walter Payton's dancing is great. Then... we'll have a West Coast DIMP BBQ and you'll show up in a Jim McMahon jersey, ripped jeans and Adidas cleats humming the tune under your breath and cracking "Da Bears" jokes.  
 
That will be about 20 minutes before I begin a lifetime of incarceration for what I will forever deem a "mercy killing".” 

I don’t know if I could ever wear a Jim McMahon jersey and convincingly deliver any “Da Bears” jokes, but he is correct about everything else, down to the Adidas cleats. This song will be stuck in my head for the next few days, at least. But it’s even funnier in 2007 now that the Indianapolis Colts have won Super Bowl XLI. As you all no doubt have seen, it was a great game made all the more interesting with the extreme weather conditions. I watched the game with friends of mine that are Chicago Bears fans, and I was the only person rooting for Indy. I want it noted that I nearly got kicked out when aping “The Super Bowl Shuffle” using my own lyrics: 
 
"My name is Grossman, and facts are facts,

Our running game’s off; I’ll try to pass.” 

And my personal fave: 

“We're not here to start no trouble.

We’re just tryin’ not to fumble!” 

It should also be noted, that I was highly drunk during the game, much as I am now, only more so.  

But Super Bowl XX was a different era, in a different world. A world in which a sports team moonlighting themselves as The Chicago Bears Shufflin’ Crew could record a hit record that would go on to be nominated for the Grammy for Best Rhythm & Blues Vocal Performance. (They lost to Prince, who also surprisingly made it to Super Bowl XLI) Only in the 1980s could something like this happen. When asked, pop superstar Stevie Wonder is claimed to have said, “Fuck man, even I can see this is a bad idea.” God’s wrath has punished the Bears for this musical abomination for the past twenty-one years. 

What “The Super Bowl Shuffle” did leave us is one great 80s music video to laugh at. Here are five of my favorite images from it… 

Why look, its Walter Payton doing his best Rockwell impersonation.
“Sometimes I feel like, somebody’s watching meeeeeeeeeeeeee!” 

Why look, its Willie Gault performing the dance moves Ashlee
Simpson will make famous in less than two decades!

Why look, its Shaun Gayle and Dan Rains doing… something?
 

Why look, its K-Fed, er… Jim McMahon!

Why look, its The Fridge. Play on, Playa!

“The Super Bowl Shuffle”, like it or not, is one damn fine amusing piece of extra smelly pop culture cheese, and pop culture aficionados simply HAVE to see it once. This DVD is as good a place as any to fill that void in your life. But as Cary warned, it will leave an aftertaste 

The DVD Presentation
I hate to say it, but there isn’t anything good about it. The full-frame (as expected and should be) transfer is soft as can be, with tracking lines running on the bottom half (during the extras). It’s definitely a straight VHS to DVD conversion. The audio sucks, and not just because of the song, but because of the clarity. No subtitles are included, so even now, 21 years after its debut, I still don’t know what the hell William Perry is saying past “You lookin’ at the Fridge.” A lyric card would have been a nice inclusion for this reason only. But it’s passable in both audio and video, because it looks as good as it did back in tha day. 

And the Extras Are?
The Making of The Super Bowl Shuffle (16:10) – Want to know how they made “The Super Bowl Shuffle?” They put them all in a studio and had them fucking dance while someone taped it. 

No shit! It really happened! 

This is more notable for the admission by several players how they were dragged into this.  

Outtakes (4:54) –
Q: How do you judge outtakes of a music video that itself looks like one six-minute outtake of the 1985 Chicago Bears being unwillingly brought on stage at a gay bar?  

A: You don’t. You just laugh hysterically, and then pour another beer.  

The Bottom Line
There is no plot to “The Super Bowl Shuffle” it was a silly music video made to make money for some charity or some shit. The Chicago Bears Shufflin’ Crew almost makes The Sugarhill Gang seem like legitimate rappers. The song sucks, the video sucks, but you can’t possibly watch it and not laugh it up. I’m glad that it is archived on this DVD for all time so that Bears fans will know that their one moment of greatness will forever be overshadowed by the pseudo rap song that accompanied it.  

If you are that die hard Bears fan, or just a masochist, get this DVD. If you’re just a tired and true fan that rightfully is hanging his head over Grossman, - better luck next year.