Aeon Flux
by John Felix

Was there anyone that didn’t burst out laughing at the trailer for Aeon Flux? The generic action/sci-fi tone of the trailer, the deadpan delivery of every line, Frances McDormand’s hair, the silly costumes – all of this topped off with a near-worthless brand name, a cult cartoon figure a decade past its prime.
On the surface, I might have been giggling, but on the inside… Well, I was still giggling, but a thought was running through my head at the same time: “Hot girls kicking ass! Hot girls kicking ass! Oh my God, it’s another movie where hot girls get to kick some ass!”

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Aeon Flux: The Complete Animated Series
by John Felix

It was 1991 when MTV debuted their original animated program Liquid Television, a collection of adult-oriented short films that ran constantly during the lucrative 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. timeslot. Around the same time, my mother decided to pick up a cable subscription, and I quickly glued myself to the television screen. I was at that age where cartoons were seen as “baby stuff,” but thanks to the wonders of cable and a growing problem with insomnia that continues to this day, Liquid Television proved me wrong. There were two specific shorts that always stuck out in my mind; one was Mike Judge’s Frog Baseball short starring the soon-to-be-loved Beavis and Butthead, and Peter Chung’s Aeon Flux.

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The Amazing Screw-On Head
by John Felix

Like everything I've ever loved in my life; family, friends, lovers, or the ability to acquire discount prescription medication, The Amazing Screw-On Head was taken away from me all too soon. Removed from my life without any explanation whatsoever, The Amazing Screw-On Head leftme to wonder if it was truly destiny, or just another cosmic joke that I would never be able to comprehend. 

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Anatomy Of Hell
by John Felix

Bear with me for a moment while I make something up on the spot that will possibly be so utterly wrong that it will be outright laughable. Don’t worry, since I am able to admit that what I’m about to say is completely stream-of-consciousness writing, that allows me to distance myself from what I’m saying, which then absolves me from any possible blame. In fact, my ability to bullshit on the spot managed to get me through many college courses.

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Beavis & Butt-Head - The Mike Judge Collection - Vol. 2
by John Felix

Watching Beavis and Butt-Head works on two distinct levels. Firstly, it’s a display of two imbeciles who spend their time making dick jokes, trying desperately to get laid and absorbing pop culture – and on that level, it’s quite amusing. But spending roughly four hours with The Mike Judge Collection -Volume 2 easily gives way to a dark center much more edgy than a few farts, and that’s the theme of neglect. In their own little world, neglect made Beavis and Butt-Head who they are, and neglect allows them to continue to exist.

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Benny Hill: Complete & Unadulterated - Volume 5
by John Felix

Dear Britain, etc.:
Hey guys. What’s up? My name is John H. Felix. You might not know me, but I write things for the Internet. You can find me at such websites as DVDInMyPants.com, DVDInMyPants.com, and DVDInMyPants.com. I have decided to write this note to ask you a question that’s been stirring in my head ever since I received your DVD box set, volume five of Benny Hill: Complete And Unadulterated.

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Cannibal Holocaust
by John Felix

If there is any doubt that truth in advertising exists, Cannibal Holocaust should put an end to the argument. Cannibal Holocaust delivers on every promise it makes, on every positive and negative word that has ever been spit out of the mouths of its fans and opponents. Everything you’ve heard about the film is true, and that should give you a very good idea whether or not this is a film for you.

Oh, except for the fact that it was originally advertised as a true story. Yeah… That was fake.

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Curious Obsessions
by John Felix

How do you even review a movie like this? While Seduction Cinema has at least tried to put the barest effort into their previous movies plot-wise, Curious Obsessions is this, and only this: One day, two young women find a 16mm film projector left on their doorstep. Once set up they watch the film, which consists of peep show clips. The girls get horny and then simulate sex acts on each other. That’s it. For 77 minutes. To know that it took three writers to come up with the script to this film is like hearing the punch line to a joke about your mother being penetrated by a pack of vicious wolves infected with the Marburg virus.was fake.

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The Dark Backward
by John Felix

Funny how the whole “cult” film scene works, huh?

These films can basically be separated into two different categories: the honest yet inept film that strives to do its best but only meets glorious failure, and the cringe-inducingly intentional. For example, you can put any Ed Wood film up against, say, the infuriating Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter, and it’s easy to see a difference.

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The Devil's Rejects
by John Felix

Rob Zombie’s previous film, House of 1000 Corpses, was held by Universal for three years before Lion’s Gate Films managed to step up and distribute the film. During that three-year stretch, the hype grew to ridiculous proportions, with all sorts of gossip about why Universal chose not to distribute the film. Was it because of the violence? Was it the overall tone of the movie? Was it even done? I was among those sucked into the mystery, wondering if Universal’s reluctance to distribute the film was because it featured the host of MTV’s Singled Out in a major role.

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Dinosaurs - Seasons Three And Four
by John Felix

A lot of things came out of my mouth in the process of watching Dinosaurs - Seasons Three And Four over the past few days. Surprisingly, most of the sounds I managed to emit weren’t even words at all, but a collage of grunts, moans, chokes and gagging, a lot of gagging. If you had listened to me from the other room, you might have suspected that I was trying to eat an entire buffet dinner the same way a snake devours its prey; that I just simply unhinged my jaw and took the whole thing down in one big gulp.

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Dirt - Season One
by John Felix

Allow me to emulate Roger Ebert here for one moment (no, I mean outside of his love for big breasts) and let me take a moment to talk about how I don’t watch television. I don’t have anything against it, it’s just a rare occasion when something produced for television sparks my interest; I speak in past tense because I haven’t had a working television for the past year so the whole point is moot anyway. However, reviewing DVDs for allows me to cherry-pick from many shows hitting the home market, most, if not all unheard of. Sometimes I take a gamble and just request something, anything because there is a simple joy in asking for something and then getting it for free. Hellllooooo Dirt - Season One.

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Doctor Who: The Beginning
by John Felix

As stated specifically in the review itself, this is the first time I have managed to watch any sort of Doctor Who in any incarnation. Because of this, I will probably get a few things wrong, due to ignorance of the subject itself, or because things were changed in the continuity of a twenty-five-plus year television show. I know how rabid a fan base can be, so please, cut me some slack on the material. I don’t want to open up my email, or a feedback thread and read about how horribly misinformed I am on the subject of Doctor Who. I’m well aware of that fact.

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Dynamite Warrior
by John Felix

Dynamite Warrior is a strange movie. You might initially think it's a stupid movie, and to some degree you would be right, but while watching the film, the simple fact will grow on you like a fungus until you realize in your mind's eye, “This movie is fucking bonkers.” 

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Evan Almighty
by John Felix

Within the first five minutes of Evan Almighty, a dog craps in a yard. Two young brothers, Steve Carell’s sons in the film, high-five each other over the canine’s triumph. Welcome to yet another film written by Steve Oedekerk, a man who can be described at best as an insidious force in the business, worming his way through dire project after dire project. With writing credits for such films as Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, the Nutty Professor remakes and, Christ help us, Patch Adams; Oedekerk has to be the most quietly reviled man in filmmaking.

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Experiments In Terror
by John Felix

Experiments in Terror is a collection of short horror films, though they might not be what you would expect. Gone are boogeymen with scarred faces and trench coats hiding in the shadows. These films are more aimed at both the mind and the gut. Instead of presenting a traditional scenario of a protagonist fighting his all against the forces of evil, Experiments in Terror is mostly concerned with assaulting your senses with abstraction and experimental technique. The result is a collection of films that resemble more art piece than slasher flick.

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Fear Factor - Season 1
by John Felix

When did game shows stop focusing on intelligence and ability? Okay, Fear Factor is definitely not the first in a line of game shows that concentrated more on chance than on wits. Years before Fear Factor there was Let’s Make A Deal, which featured Monty Hall handing out prize money for various things ladies had in their purses. Later, it was revealed that Hall would hide behind door number three and sniff said items for his own pleasure, but that’s another story. Apparently the novelty of money for nothing eventually wore off. Think about it: even on Double Dare, a game show aimed at children, Marc Summers would at least ask you to recite the last five presidents in reverse-chronological order before sending you leaping through a hoop made entirely out of flaming dog shit.

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Freaked
by John Felix

A story about corporate greed. A story of celebrity corruption. A story about the consequences of toxic waste. A story about… Well… Freaks.

Starting off as a cheap independent vehicle for the band The Butthole Surfers and then graduating to a full-fledged twelve million dollar Fox picture, Freaked might be the most baffling studio picture to come out in the last fifteen years. Although Fox made sure to bury the picture as quickly as possible, god bless ‘em for having the audacity to look at the project and think, “Boy, this certainly is going to return our investment!”

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