Pirates! Johnny Depp! A classic Disney ride that sparked a movie which now influences the attraction! I'm not so much interested in these films as I am in seeing their updated ride. Yo ho ho! Swim (to Disneyland)!
-- lostwire

The 14-year-old girls with the raging hard-ons for both Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom will ensure that this makes enough money to make a small country weep. For everybody else, the shtick will probably grow old by the halfway mark, and when part three rolls around, nobody will care. Sink!
-- John Felix

The law of diminishing returns here. The original caught audiences by surprise by being far better than it ever had any right to be. There will be no surprise here, and a lot of disappointment. Think The Matrix and its sequels. Sink!
-- Larry Phillips

I thought the original would be totally worthless rubbish. Instead, it was a boatload of fun. More pirates? More undead? More of Keira Knightley’s sexy jawline? Swim!
-- Eric San Juan

My apathy could not be any stronger. Never saw the first one and no plans to see this. It's truly a Star Wars/Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter type situation for me. Who cares?
-- Marq

Swim, big swim. It's gonna do buttloads. It's got a fuckin' hammerhead shark guy! Swim!
-- Comedian

VERDICT: Swim!

The only twist ending I'm prepared for is the one Shyamalan will get when I stick this splintered broomstick up his ass and start turning. Sink!
-- Shawn McLoughlin

I believe that at the end of his life, on his death bed, M. Night Shamalan will pull off his face to reveal the snarling visage of Cerberus, the three-headed gatekeeper of Hades. It will turn out that the M. stands for Mauzer, and your mind will, like, be completely blown the fuck away. Lady in the Water? Meh. Sink!
-- John Felix

Fuck right off. Outcome - M. Night gets cancer and dies. Sink!
-- Chris Knight

M. Night may never reach the level of The Sixth Sense. Everyone has the impression that his hand has been played out. He is a talented filmmaker with a good eye, but the lack of real star power here won't be enough to pull folks away from the big comic book movies this year. Sink!
-- Larry Phillips

What the Hell is this? She'd better be pretty damn cute if she expects to even crack this summer's top ten. Sink!
-- lostwire

Aside from the unforgivable Signs, Shyamalan keeps improving. If this is indeed the "bedtime story" it's advertised as, I'll be running to see Cars instead. If it's another slow-burning extended X-Files episode, I guess I'll get more exited. But M. Night's personality does make me want to die when I see him. And I don't think Paul Giamatti is quite ready to be heading summer blockbusters yet (or ever). Sink!
-- Marq

A thinking man's Splash? Fuck that, even with Giamatti. Sinkers. More like Smoke on the Water. Sink!
-- Comedian

VERDICT: Sink!

This will be the best movie of my fucking LIFE! Swim! LIKE A FUCKING HAMMERHEAD!
-- Shawn McLoughlin

Ready-made cult phenomena bother me, but I'll see this because the Internet told me to, yet also join the strong backlash that will accompany it before it's actually released. Draw.
-- Marq

Snakes. On a PLANE. SNAKES. Swim. Breast Stroke. Gold medal performance. Swim!
-- Comedian

This film will go down in history as being the first film that everyone was already over before marketing even started. Sure, it will make back its budget and will probably spawn a direct-to-video sequel starring Cuba Gooding Jr., but it will probably teeter out at the 30 million dollar mark. A modest hit, at best (fact: I will see it. And love it.). Sink!
-- John Felix

Look for this no-budget practical joke played on the audience to crash and burn. Sink!
-- Larry Phillips

Of all those on the list, Snakes On A Plane will have my ass in the theater on opening weekend. Should I show up with an actual snake wrapped around my neck? Snakes on a plane, man. Snakes on a plane! Swim!
-- lostwire

I’ve joined in on the chorus of fake grass-roots hype, the howls of delightful laughter, and the vows to see this on opening day. It does look like stupid fun … but it will BOMB. Sink!
-- Eric San Juan

VERDICT: Sink!