Sequels are traditionally garbage. For every Terminator 2: Judgment Day there is an Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives (that sounds like a horror film, but it isn’t). But there is an exception to this – horror films.

It isn’t that horror film sequels are golden, filled with fantastic writing or acting; on the contrary, the difference between the horror sequel and the average non-horror sequel is that the horror film rarely tries to exceed its own reach. You are likely to be more satisfied with the limitations of Creepshow 2 than you are Caddyshack II. So to achieve the ultimate in karma points, I’ve decided to tell you straight up what the ten most worthy horror sequels are for your Halloween amusement. This way, you won’t have to sit through the duds (unless they are Milk Duds). All of these are available on DVD, so you have no damned excuse not to rent if you missed one. Enjoy!

10. House II: The Second Story
“Look! It’s a prehistoric bird!”

There is no rule in the horror genre that says a sequel has to continue the story of the original. There is no guarantee it will feature the same actors - and it most likely won’t. In fact, a horror sequel often doesn't have a goddamn thing to do with the original film. House II is the first film on this list that fits the description, but it certainly won’t be the last.

The story we have here is simple: Jesse inherits an old house (which is actually a temple), a house still haunted by the spirit of his long dead great-great-grandfather. Additionally, the house is a gateway to another dimension where all sorts of strange things happen, and even stranger creatures live. Jesse and his friend, Charlie, together with the reanimated corpse of his grandfather, must find an ancient Aztec jeweled skull which was stolen by the creatures of the alternate dimension.

Sound silly? It is. It is also loaded with laughs and fantasy elements that make House II (unlike the first film) safe enough for kids. Think of it as a Goosebumps novel and you’ll get the idea. It’s great family viewing at Halloween, with no worries of nightmares that evening.

9. Creepshow 2
“Help! It hurts! It hurts!”

Just about any horror fan will tell you that Creepshow 2 is nowhere near as good as the first. Those same people would be absolutely right. But the second film isn’t bad, it just pales in comparison. This sequel is another anthology of horror stories, so there is no real connection between the two other than that both were set up with a framework which, like Tales from the Crypt, was inspired by the great EC comic books of the 1950s.

There are only three stories in Creepshow 2, as opposed to the five of the first. Old Chief Wood’nhead is about a general store’s wooden Indian coming back to life to seek vengeance on the assholes that killed the kindly old store manager (played by George Kennedy!). The last story, The Hitchhiker, is an amusing story about an adulterous woman who accidentally kills a bum on the way home from her lecherous affair. But horror fans know the awesome segment is The Raft.

The Raft is about a group of kids that go out to the river to listen to tunes, get high, drink beer, and have sexual relations – oh, and swim too, I guess. Anyway, while swimming and being belligerent little bastards, this oil-slick-looking-thing starts floating along. One of the dumber women decides poking it would be a good idea. Like The Blob, the thing catches her and drags her down into the depths. With no way to get back to shore, the kids have no choice but to wait as they get picked off one-by-one.

The effects in this chapter are totally cool latex and foam rubber. No CGI shit here. This is old-school classic stuff, and as a six-year-old who snuck in to see this at the theater, it scared me shitless. Even eighteen years later, this segment is more effective than all three sequels to Jaws combined. For this chapter alone, Creepshow 2 deserves a spot on the list (the other chapters certainly won’t ruin your night either).

8. The Fly II
“I’m getting… better!”

It would be criminal to attempt to sum up the fascinating history of The Fly II in three paragraphs. Suffice it to say, this film is nowhere near respected enough. Much like Creepshow 2, the sheer awesomeness of the original weighs far too heavily on this surprisingly good sequel.

No, the sequel being better than people think doesn't excuse Eric Stoltz for being a bitch, but it's still a very worthy watch.

7. Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf
“Stefan, you never could resist me.”

This is an interesting piece. Howling II is a direct sequel to the first, a certified werewolf classic. Ben is the brother of Karen White, the newspaper reporter who turns into a werewolf on the air at the end of The Howling. At the same time, Christopher Lee plays Stefan, a werewolf hunter of the Van Helsing mold. Lee’s sister, Stirba, is a werewolf. She is a ‘werewolf bitch’ in fact, as one of the alternate titles states.

But the plot isn’t half the charm of Howling II. In fact, I have watched it seven times and still can’t explain it. Something about werewolves only being killed with titanium, not just silver. The bullets apparently have to stay in them or something. Also, the werewolves here like to fuck a lot. I mean, rabbit-like, in wild orgies under new wave night clubs. They wear a lot of leather, too. And are incestuous.

As you can see, the epic scope of Howling II is beyond words. The most important and interesting things here are the visuals. For the first time ever, you see Christopher Lee in new wave sunglasses. You know, the kind Pizza Hut gave away when Back to the Future Part II came out. You get to see Sybil Danning’s rack. It is a pretty damned impressive rack, too. Director Philippe Mora must have known this, because in the end credits sequence you get to see it uncovered seventeen times, with reaction shots from the entire cast, including an owl.

Perhaps the most stunning thing about the film is how absolutely odd it is. You'll certainly never find another film like it. It isn’t a good movie, but it is beyond entertaining. It makes Howling III look like a masterpiece. If you want something a little different, look no further.

6. Friday the 13th – The Final Chapter
“You're a dead fuck.”

Sure as the sun rises and sets, in the 1980s there was one thing that you could count on. Each year, you would get a new Jason movie. I think I heard that someone slit their wrists in 1987 when there wasn’t a new Friday the 13th film. Even then Fangoria was diligently reporting on the previous and next film. When it was revealed that this, the fourth film, wasn’t the ‘Final Chapter’ no one was surprised. (And even now, don’t think we have seen the last of Jason.)

But while this film didn’t succeed in ending the franchise, it did effectively end the “saga” the first four films create. It is also pretty friggin' cool. First, Jason’s rampage gets downright creative. He kills 13 (ooooooo…) people here. Among those deaths include a spear to the gonads, a hacksaw to the throat, a knife to the head through a movie screen, a man's head crushed by Jason’s bare hands, and the awesome one-two of a corkscrew though a hand followed by a cleaver to the face.

When it comes to killing underdeveloped supporting characters, Jason gets the job done. He also gets the show stolen from him...

Tommy Jarvis (played by Corey-goddamn-Feldman) kills Jason. Kills him! Normally that would disturb me, but Feldman wasn’t a teen idol when he made this movie, he was still just a punk kid that liked monster movie effects. Hey, I can relate to that. I’m STILL like that. So how does our little Tommy Jarvis do in the guy? Straight up gangsta with a machete to the face, then Jason falls to the ground sliding down the blade. Totally gross, totally cool, and totally filled with 80s tits and hair.

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