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 A
21st Century Christmas
by Jeremy Bloss
December
29, 2005
Christmas: the one movie genre that Hollywood
seems to know how to do right.
Year after year, decade after decade, Hollywood
churns out its annual batch of Christmas films – and
astonishingly, they seem to do a pretty good job of getting
at least one good Christmas film to audiences each year. Sure,
there are clunkers out there like Christmas With The
Kranks, but even it must have done something right
to warrant a sequel. One thing that has jumped out at me recently
is that only five years into the new millennium, Hollywood
is still cranking out wonderful Christmas movies. We may have
seen much of it before, yet it never fails to warm out hearts.
It seems that for this genre the tried and true still works.
Some may have their critics, but each of the following show
why clichéd plots still ring true, especially at Christmas.
Read More >> |
 My
Favorite Santas
by John Felix
December
22, 2005
Ah, Christmas! The time of the year where thoughts
turn to pain, sorrow, loneliness and the contemplation of
suicide. I can’t think of a single Christmas in my life
that wasn’t completely and utterly disappointing. In
fact, the phrase “NEVER AGAIN!” is uttered at
such an alarming rate throughout December that you could probably
create a drinking game around its use.
In fact, I’m going to take a guess and
assume that this article is going to be the most
positive Christmas experience I’ve ever had and possibly
will ever have. Yes, it’s time to compile another Internet
movie list, to compile a list of obvious choices, obscure
references, and gag entries that are inserted as a joke, but
are really there to fill in dead space. Here’s a collection
of my favorite Santas in television and movie history!
Read More >> |
 Noto’s
Corrupt Christmas Films
by Shawn McLoughlin
December
15, 2005
As anyone who has ever conversed with me on
the forum or anyone who has ever read one of my reviews can attest,
I am a bitter asshole. I might be bittersweet at times, but
bitter nevertheless. And always an asshole. Christmas
means little, if anything, to my way of life. However, it
should be just as obvious that I will watch just about anything
placed in front of me. Misty Mundae or Marlon Brando? Doesn’t
matter, I’ll check it out. So in my years of watching
films not because I wanted to, but because they were “the
only thing on” or because I was tired of tapping on
my NES to get it to recognize the cartridges, I’ve happened
on a few, well, different Christmas films. So here
they are, in no real order, some whacked out Christmas movies.
Consider it my gift to you this holiday season.
Read More >> |
 Rankin
& Bass: Merry Christmas, You Old Bastards
by Eric San Juan
December
8, 2005
I admit, I’m something of a Scrooge. The
holiday season frustrates me. Irritates me. Drives me up a
wall. And that’s kind of understating things. The truth
is, I write dozens of letters each year to my Congressman
asking for any and all “holiday season” holidays
to be declared illegal (at least around me; I don’t
care if the rest of you fall in with that nonsense, as long
as I don't have to see it).
Read More >> |
 I
Owe It All To Santa Claus Conquers The Martians
by Palmerlime
December
1, 2005
I firmly believe, as many of you who frequent
sites such as this probably do as well, that movies are among
the key elements in modern human existence that shape that
which we are to become. Environment plays a key role, of course,
upbringing and such, but movies … well they are something
special.
Read More >> |
 He-Man
& She-Ra:
A Christmas Special
by Shawn McLoughlin
December 2005
Like it or not, for the most part Christmas
has become a monument to consumerism. This is no recent thing
either; I’m sure it was that way long before my presence
graced this planet. But the '80s was the most unabashedly
consumerist of them all. Throughout the decade, wherever the
holiday could be exploited it was. No place was more ripe
for this than the children’s shows that were arguably
the most consumerist of them all – He-Man And
The Masters Of The Universe and She-Ra: Princess
Of Power. And boy did these shows kick their consumerism
into high gear for He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas
Special.
Read More >> |
 The
Nightmare Before Christmas
by John Felix
December 2005
Has it really been so long since the name Tim
Burton didn’t inspire at best an apathetic yawn out
of me? Sure, I enjoyed the hell out of Batman Returns when it originally came out, but Burton’s brand name
seemed to hit a high point with the one-two punch of The
Nightmare Before Christmas in ‘93 and Ed
Wood in ‘94. Oh, and Cabin Boy,
too. I will defend Cabin Boy until the day
I die.
After that it seemed Burton hit a creative wall
with a collection of remakes and adaptations that ranged from
decent enough (Sleepy Hollow, Big
Fish), fairly inconsistent (Mars Attacks!, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), and ass-canceringly
bad (Planet of the Apes). But ’93 and
’94 would be considered by most to be Burton’s
highlight – which is quite odd considering Tim
Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas isn’t
a Tim Burton film in the first damn place.
Read More >> |
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