After waiting for a cab, we got to the airport for the flight to South Bend, IN, via Chicago. Man, we always go to the best places on vacation! The South Bend airport is a throwback to simpler times, and after waiting for longer than the 16 minute flight we took from Chicago, our luggage appeared, we got into our rental car and headed north to Muskegon, MI. I have driven to numerous amusement parks in various parts of the country, but rarely have I ever encountered more boring roads to drive on than in Indiana. Long stretches of tree lined roads followed by unending stretches of Wal-Marts, strip malls, and chain restaurants ensued. After a two and a half hour drive, interrupted by lunch at a rare non-chain restaurant, and a quick tour of the antique mall next door to pick up some antique bottles for my wife, and some old amusement park postcards for me, we arrived  in Muskegon.  

Earlier in May we had taken a long weekend in New York City, and I was amused that the hotel room in Muskegon at $65 a night was approximately 6 times the size of our $400 a night digs in the city. There were no Frette robes, 600 count Egyptian combed cotton sheets, or teak floored rain shower stalls in Muskegon, but the price was right.  We hung about the hotel for a while as we waited for the first park on the trip to open, Michigan’s Adventure. The park had graciously opened up for our conference on Friday from 5 PM to about 9 PM, though there were only three coasters open, no other rides or concessions. The park’s first official day of operation was Saturday, so as we approached it seemed eerily quiet. We partook of the usual “jam as much cheap food in your gullet as you can” hamburger and hot dog buffet (though the barbeque pulled pork was a pleasant surprise), and listened as our new events coordinator droned on about the event. There was then a short auction of items donated by the park to benefit the American Coaster Enthusiasts (ACE) preservation and museum fund. The items auctioned off were cool, but unbelievably impractical. I loved the Ferris Wheel center spoke cover with original Michigan’s Adventure lion logo, but at over 6 feet in diameter, couldn’t imagine how I would A). Get it home, or B). Where the hell I’d put it when I got there. All three items auctioned were of similar size, so the take for all three was woefully low at less than $100 combined. 

After dinner we took our group photo, an exercise my wife has avoided since a large over enthusiastic ACEer nearly flattened her at one event, so we stood in the back, trying not to look bored, while watching for potential bludgeons.

Finally, the photo-op over, we were going to get to riding. As previously mentioned, the park had opened three of their coasters for the 135 ACE members in attendance, (as usual my opinions are my own and not the opinions of ACE or any of it’s members), The Thunderhawk, a Vekoma two seat inverted coaster, recently moved from the now defunct Geauga Lake Park, the oddly named Wolverine Wildcat, a wooden coaster celebrating it’s twentieth anniversary, and the reason we had been wanting to come to this park for the last ten years, the inventively named Shivering Timbers wooden coaster.

First up was the Thunderhawk. I am not a huge fan of the Vekoma Company’s inverted coasters. An inverted coaster is the type where the tracks are above you, and you sit in a ski-lift type chair with your legs dangling free. The other company that makes these rides, B & M of Switzerland utilizes a four across seating arrangement, and like a car with a wider wheel base, the four across seating provides a much smoother ride, especially when transitioning from one element to the next. We had ridden this particular Vekoma ride at Geauga Lake, however, and had found it to be the smoothest of the various Vekoma rides we had been on. Luckily the move did little to change that fact, and it was still the best of the Vekoma rides we’ve ridden. One very cool addition was an option to buy a DVD of your entire ride. Small video cameras were installed pointing at each set of seats, and for a measly $15 you could purchase a 2 minute DVD of you and your seat mate screaming your heads off, mugging for the camera, or being bored, depending on how jaded a coaster rider you are. We didn’t purchase the DVD, however, as they were not available on Friday night, and we didn’t re-ride Thunderhawk when we returned to the park on Saturday.  It is a great idea, though, and I’m looking forward to getting one as soon as I can. 

After a short train ride to the section of park that housed the other two coasters, we went on The Wolverine Wildcat.

Built in 1988 by the firm of Summers/Dinn, this was an enjoyable if rough wooden coaster that really gave the impression of being ready to fall apart. I have ridden many Summers/Dinn coasters, and this seems to be a theme with them. After getting off Wolverine Wildcat we made our way over to the highlight of this park, Shivering Timbers. 

In short, Shivering Timbers is an airtime machine.

Most coaster enthusiasts (my wife and I included), are fans of airtime, those few exquisite seconds where you cannot keep your ass in the coaster seat, and physics forces your body to continue in an upward motion, even while the coaster is taking the opposite tack. Shivering Timbers is a large out and back coaster whose first four hills provide unbelievable airtime. This, coupled with a sweet turnaround, and numerous smaller bunny hop type hills on the return trip, made this my favorite coaster on the trip. We did get the obligatory on-ride photo seen here, with me proudly displaying my DVD in My Pants t-shirt, and my internet shy wife cropped out.

The next day we returned to Michigan’s Adventure on opening day to partake of the other coasters that were not open for us on Friday, namely the Corkscrew, The Wild Mouse, and the wooden kiddie coaster Zach’s Zoomer. After some shopping for souvenirs and picture taking we got back into the rental car for the four and a half hour drive to our second park, Indiana Beach in Monticello, IN.  On the way south we were in need of lunch, and after passing more McDonald’s, Burger King, and KFC signs to shake a stick at, we saw a sign I haven’t seen in many a year. A sign for an A&W root beer restaurant. As I’ve stated, we normally eschew fast food chain restaurants on the road for more local color and flair, but it had been years since I’d even seen an A&W, never mind eaten at one, so we felt compelled to stop. Bad idea.

I should have been tipped off when I approached the counter to give my order to the surly stoned appearing teenager working the register. After ordering a chili-cheese hot dog meal for me, and a cheese dog and fries for my wife, said surly teen informed me that they didn’t have anything other than diet root beer. Nothing but diet fucking root beer? At a FUCKING A&W ROOT BEER RESTAURANT? OK. Since we were hungry, we decided on other drink options, and paid for the food. Stoned surly teen was accompanied by others just like him behind the counter, and the cheese that was supposed to cover my wife’s hot dog, ended up covering her French fires instead. Add that to the fact, that it was easily the worst hot dog I’ve ever eaten, and we felt glad to escape with spending only about $10 for this dubious privilege.

Back on the road to Indiana Beach, we passed a small local root beer and hot dog stand. I squealed the brakes as the car lurched to the left so we could at least get a glass of real root beer, served by a young goth kid with a Robert Smith haircut, and black nail polish. I assume he is the local freak in his small Indiana hometown. Our root beer hankering finally satiated, we sped back onto the rural two lane highway to our accommodations in Monticello, IN. After checking in we headed out to Indiana Beach, one of the strangest parks I’ve ever been to.

We had been to Indiana Beach before, about five years earlier at a different ACE event, and were heartened to see that the weirdness had not changed at this tiny park. Basically a boardwalk along a man made lake (I don’t care how big Lake Shafer is, it’s a lake, so in my book Indiana “Beach” is a misnomer). Since land and space are at a premium here, many of the rides, like the Scrambler, small Galaxi roller coaster, and swing ride have been built on floating pontoon platforms on the water.

It is a unique experience to have the Scrambler car swing out towards a fence that has nothing but water beyond it. My wife rode the swing ride, and as I watched her, my heart sank as the lights went out, and the ride stopped swinging with it’s occupants about 25 feet in the air. Much gnashing of teeth and walkie talking ensued, until a maintenance man finally was able to lower the ride to allow those on it to exit. I was impressed with the speed of this operation, as it only took about twenty minutes to get them down, though it was a bit scary, as this was only a day or two after an unfortunate accident in California on the same type of swing ride.

We had access to the two new coasters that had been installed since our last visit, but we decided to wait until the ERT (Exclusive Ride Time), since the lines for both while the park was open were prohibitively long. While the park was open to the general public we rode the small steel Galaxi ride, unusual as the cars, which are normally singles, are connected in groups of two cars here, and our favorite coaster from our last trip, The Hoosier Hurricane. To illustrate just how much stuff they cram into this park, the turnaround on the Hoosier Hurricane, an area fenced off in most parks, contains nearly the entire miniature golf course.

The ride was much rougher than when we had ridden it in its first year of operation, disappointing my wife, as previously it had been a ride that had a high re-ride ability, now becoming a bit of a shaking headache machine.  My wife impressed the nearly toothless redneck next to us with her perfect 15 for 15 score at the Shoot the Monsters shooting gallery “That’s damn fine shootin’!”, and she entertained both myself, and several other patrons in the walk through haunted house.

You’ve really never been to one of these until you go with my wife, who routinely will utter an unearthly blood curdling scream at the slightest provocation. At one point they had a darkened room that they warned was full of rats. They had moving foam pieces that brushed against your feet and ankles as you walked through. I thought she was going to have a coronary.

After clearing the park of the general public, we were able to ride the newer wooden coaster, The Cornball Express, a twisting type wooden coaster that loops around the loading platform and first drop of The Hoosier Hurricane, as well as the other small steel coaster Tigg’er. This picture illustrates how space is inventively used here, as the track on top is the Hoosier Hurricane, and the one below is The Cornball Express.

As you can see, both wooden coasters use steel as their support structures with wooden tracks.  Due to a passing rain storm, the ERT on the last new coaster, the long winded named Lost Coaster of Superstition Mountain was cancelled for Saturday night. I was bummed about this, as we were not getting admission passes to the park on Sunday, and it would have cost us $5 each for one ride after the park opened. Luckily the coaster was added to the ERT schedule on Sunday morning, saving us the sawbuck.

This was easily the strangest coaster I’ve ever ridden. Instead of normal coaster seats, each small car (there are two cars attached), has four seats, two facing forward, two backward. You crawl into the car (loads of fun for anyone over five foot one), and a bar in lowered over the four sets of knees. The cars have a roll-bar type top that is covered in a fabric mesh. After loading, the cars roll to the right, and are transported to the top of the ride, not by a traditional lift hill, but rather by an elevator, another ingenious way of saving space.  The park’s reticence to run the elevator in the rain was the reason for canceling the ERT on it the night before. After reaching the top, the cars slide off the elevator, and onto the track. It’s here, where the ride really gets crazy. Utilizing short drops, and ultra tight twists and turns, the cars make their way through a faux mine at great speed.

On our first ride we rode facing forward. The second ride was backward, but for me this was a mistake. In addition to not enjoying rides that just spin in a circular motion; I’m also not fond of going backwards at a high rate of speed. I emerged from the backwards ride, ghost white and sweaty. Another 30 seconds of that, and I’d have lost my breakfast.

Indiana Beach is in the process of building a looping steel coaster at the park (in what once was a parking lot), called The Steel Hawg, but I doubt we’ll be back there very soon just to ride that.  After the morning ERT most ACE members were flying or driving home (those driving assuredly hitting up another park or two on the way), but we decided to take our time and fly back on Monday. We returned to the room for a bit of R&R, with my wife utilizing the hotels gym, pool, and sauna while I stayed in the room, enjoying the Celtics Game 7 dismantling of the Cleveland Cavaliers in the second round of the playoffs. After a pizza lunch (ground pepperoni, what a great idea!), we decided to go to another unique Indiana attraction, The Great Cats of Indiana.

The Great Cats of Indiana is a refuge for all types of big cats that people have illegally imported or purchased as cubs, and who realize when they start to grow up that they own a fucking tiger. 

A small area filled with the most ramshackle cages imaginable housed some twenty tigers, five lions, three black bears, a black panther, pumas, wolves, a bobcat, and a fox. In one respect it’s very cool to be able to get with two feet of a 9 foot long tiger. On the other hand, it’s obvious from looking at the animals that they are thinking “It’s a good thing they feed me well, or I’d break down this cage in a second, and you’d be my lunch.”  I still don’t know if what they are doing is a good or bad thing, but I’m glad that I experienced it. 

The next morning we headed off to the South Bend airport to return home. Due to a GPS miscalculation the day before, I thought the airport was about 90 miles away, but it turned out to be about 120 miles away, causing much consternation in myself, as I am obsessive about being on time for things. After nervously driving for two hours we arrived in plenty of time for our flight, only to be slightly delayed at security by the empty antique bottles in my wife’s carry on bag. After assurances that we had no intention of blowing up the plane without an accelerant, and an 80 year old glass, we were allowed to leave Indiana for the two hour layover in Chicago, where we had the worst cheeseburger of all time at a Johnny Rockets, a chain that I usually feel is pretty good. It was overcooked, on a stale bun, and had been sitting under a heat lamp for at least the nearly 20 minutes it took to serve it to us. Not a pretty ending to what had been a pretty good trip. Oh well, I guess that’s airport food.  It’s summertime, so get out there and ride, and I’ll see you all next time in the queue line.