“God, if you didn’t exist, I’d have to build you.”

Anyone want a Danish?

There’s a certain charm found only in foreign films.  Whether Chow Yun Fat has a seemingly endless supply of ammunition in one of John Woo’s bullet-ballets or Christophe Lambert appears to avoid the fact that there really isn’t much plot going on in Luc Besson’s Subway (a personal favorite), we seem to suspend our disbelief in favor of the particular cinematic style, catchy visuals and the oft-bad music that filmmakers grace us with.  We gobble it up, in fact.  We crave more (possibly due to the fact that we don‘t understand any of what the actors are saying, making it less-difficult to determine whether or not they can even act).

Of course, I can only speak for those of us who possess the apparently rare ability to actually be able to read subtitles while simultaneously watching the action onscreen…it’s surprising how many people cannot or will not do that.  I call these people “idiots.”  Perhaps the first-grade reading level posed too much of a threat to their delicate, inbred mind and they simply gave up...  Maybe Hooked On Phonics was just a big scam…  Or, maybe they’re just a bunch of lazy, mono-tasking, stupid bastards, I dunno.  For these people, dubbing exists…and, as much as I love the bizarre (but appropriate) dubbing for Jean-Luc Godard’s Alphaville (which is sorely missing on the Criterion DVD and rightfully so), my general ranting on dubbing is best saved for another day.

So, now that I’ve completely wandered away from the subject at hand, I present you with Allegro, a foreign film (wow, what are the odds?) from our friends in Denmark.  Yes, aside from ghostly kings, breakfast pastries and some really good porn, Denmark also produces a movie every once in a while (oh, it’s true…I just looked it all up!).

Allegro focuses on the story of Zetterstrøm (Ulrich Thomsen), a talented concert pianist who grows up in Copenhagen (that‘s in Denmark you know…I looked that up, too!), falls in love with Andrea (Danish model Helena Christensen) but his decision to shut himself of emotionally and play music rather than just live life eventually bites him in the ass when Andrea leaves him…so, he puts his feelings away (depicted by some nifty animation) and parts for America, leaving everything and everyone behind .  However, after he leaves, a portion of the city becomes barricaded by an invisible wall, dubbed as “The Zone” (an obvious nod to Andrei Tarkovsky’s Stalker).  To make matters worse, “The Zone” has stolen all of Zetterstrøm’s memories. 

If that’s not weird enough for you, our omnipotent narrator (Henning Moritzen) switches roles and becomes the wheelchair-bound Tom (who may very well be part of Zetterstrøm’s imagination) and invites him back to Copenhagen so that he can enter “The Zone” and gain his memories back and start living like a human being for a change.

If you like existentialist movies that make you say “Huh?” every now and then, you’ll enjoy the award-winning Allegro.  I did: some of the acting isn‘t that great (note to filmmakers: Quit Casting Models!), but Boe‘s direction and the witty dialogue by Michael Wulff make it one to enjoy.  Of course, I thought Timothy Dalton was a good James Bond, too, so what the hell would I know?


Presentation
Koch Lorber presents the film in an anamorphic 1.78:1 aspect ratio.  The colors are very vivid (the film isn’t that old after all) and some scenes are intentionally grainy (one wonders if parts of it were shot on video).  The acceptable 2-Channel audio is presented in Danish (the language of Denmark…yep…looked that up, as well).

Extras
Treat your orbs to a Making-Of Featurette (loved the Dolby artist), a trailer and some pics.  That’s all you get unless you count the additional previews for the other Koch Lorber releases.

The Bottom Line
Even if you don’t like reading subtitles, it’s not hard to follow Allegro…because you probably won‘t.  I liked it for that reason alone.