Here’s the deal. I’m southern and I’m very proud of where I came from. I don’t have a rebel flag anywhere in my house. I don’t listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd religiously (although I do own all the albums… they’re good… you should own them too). I don’t have anyone in my family tree who ever owned a slave.

I’m telling you all of this so you’ll understand why I fucking HATE Jeff Foxworthy and more than that, I would like to kick Larry The Cable Guy in the nuts repeatedly… for days… with only short breaks to sleep and regain my strength so that I may resume the kicking.

First, I don’t find either of them particularly funny. Both do jokes that are less original than almost anyone out there - except perhaps Gallagher. This is especially true of Larry The Cable Guy.

Second, they have been unoriginal for almost twenty years. Talk about being in a rut. This is especially true of Foxworthy who has been pulling that “You Might Be A Redneck” shtick since before the current batch of high school seniors were even a tickle in their parents loins.

Finally, I’ve have had to put up with a lifetime of living outside the south and hearing people whose only knowledge of where I grew up comes from the movie Mississippi Burning and Foxworthy’s “You Know You’re A Redneck When…” books. People, it’s amazing I haven’t made the evening news via footage of me carrying heads and a bloody axe.

So when I get a DVD called Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One For The Road slipped into my mailbox, I immediately know I will absolutely hate a considerably large portion of it.

However, there is one reason and one reason alone to check out any Blue Collar Comedy Tour release. That reason is named Ron White. This guy has big time funny in his genes. He’s intelligent, sarcastic and he doesn’t talk down to his audience. His set on this one is not as good as his two solo offerings (They Call Me Tater Salad and You Can’t Fix Stupid), but it’s one of a few bright spots on the disc. The fact that he works blue also helps his cause some. He’s the guy that brings an air of danger to the proceedings and while he never really gets dangerous, his set is not for family viewing. He’s the only one on here who, realizing he’s performing in the nation’s capital, takes an opportunity to do a considerably large piece on the idiocy of the Homeland Security Department.

Ron White rocks.

Bill Engvall’s set is also better than average. This may be the first set I’ve seen him do where I laughed pretty consistently through the entire thing. His bit about getting a massage is very good as is his “perfect dog” routine. They’re mostly safe fare (not a blue as Ron White’s stuff) but done in an original way. He comes off as an Andy Griffith with the occasional foray into semi-racy material.

Then there’s the other two. Foxworthy does a bit about Redneck Fashion tips that is only one step removed from the “You might be a redneck” bits that made him famous. He even starts it with the same delivery. I wanted to punch my television. Otherwise, we get jokes about how supermodels don’t shop at Wal-Mart.

Larry The Cable Guy can just kiss my ass. Jokes about fucking family members. Jokes about fucking fat chicks. Jokes about being ignorant white trash. Jokes about fucking midgets. All of these done with a very poorly overdone southern accent and a smattering of “Git ‘Er Done’s”.

Fuck you Larry. Fuck you in your ass. Fuck you… in your ass… with AIDS cock. The funniest thing you ever did was piss David Cross off enough that he posted some seriously funny shit on his website at your expense.

I hope this site lasts long enough for my daughter to grow up and read that last paragraph.

Presentation
Nothing to complain about here. It looks good and sounds good. It’s a comedy DVD. It’s not IMAX. It’s presented in widescreen and has a 5.1 stereo mix on the main feature. That allows you to truly appreciate the subtleties in Larry’s delivery.

Extras
This part of the DVD doesn’t save it from being a complete waste of time but it helps.

First up is Yankee Doody Dandy. This is not funny. It’s a skit you see. A skit about the four of them lighting a paper bag full of dog shit on fire in front of the White House and watching a Bush impersonator stomp it out. It wouldn’t have been good even if they were decent actors. It’s worse because they aren’t.

Next though, we have something that is genuinely interesting and made me actually like all four of these guys, if not their shticks. Molding The Minds Of Young Americans is a genuine question and answer session featuring a room full of students from George Washington University and the four of these guys. The highlight of any of the Blue Collar DVDs (I’ve been subjected to most of them by “friends”) is when the four guys trade stories at the end of each set. This serves that same purpose but we get some real insight into what these guys are like off stage, as well as their relationship. Even Larry drops the fucked up accent and character and becomes likeably human.

Blue Collar Fans and Behind the Scenes of One For The Road are mostly forgettable. The first is a bunch of “in the lobby” interviews with the audience. The second is a glimpse at these guys cutting up some more with mixed results. Finally you get a Photo Gallery and some Trailers for Reno 911: Season Three and The Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again.

The Bottom Line
Look, I know I’m not really the guy to give this an objective pass. If you pick this up, it’s because you already like these guys and already own their previous DVDs. If that is the case, you’re going to like this. If not, The Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One For The Road isn’t going to change your mind one bit about whether they’re funny or not. If you’re curious about these guys, pick up Ron White’s two DVD’s or Bill Engvall’s Here’s Your Sign disc instead. If you must have a Blue Collar Comedy Tour DVD, pick up the first one. Leave this for the diehard fans.