The brain is a marvelous, wonderful thing. Essentially, it works as a super-efficient filter. It takes in stimuli from thousands of sources every second, sorts them, puts the important ones where you can deal with them and somehow manages to deal with the rest behind the scenes in such a way that they don’t overwhelm you. If it didn’t do that, we would all be curled up in fetal positions, gibbering like idiots with drool puddled around our heads.

Sometimes, the brain comes across something that it cannot take. It gets bested by something so insidious, so horrible, so… wrong, that it can’t deal with it and just opens up the filters to let the horror pass through as quickly as possible.

This is the transcription of exactly what went through my conscious mind when confronted with an episode of The Bugaloos from The Bugaloos - The Complete Series.

“AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT
SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAIN
PAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!”

Then the rods and cones in my eyes ceased to function and I woke up, seven hours later, with the message “The Easter bunny opened the creamed corn and fed it to Scissor Biscuits” written in lipstick across my naked torso.

I am the third writer to get this set. That’s right; two others before me tried to deal with this fucking thing and didn’t survive. turned to me because, let’s face it, I’m still the new guy. So it’s up to me to give you what you, the loyal DIMP reader deserves … a warning.

The Bugaloos are everything that is wrong with America. The Bugaloos, in fact, are everything that is wrong with the world. Why? Because The Bugaloos are the creation of hippies … and hippies suck.

Sid and Marty Krofft are responsible, but I’m sure this didn’t spring fully-fledged from their minds. They must have had help from other commune dwellers. If it did come solely from them, and there was a God, then all the Christians would have flown up to the heavens. I know this because the Kroffts could only be that evil if they were the Antichrist and the False Prophet spoken of in the Book of Revelations.

The Bugaloos is set in Tranquility Forest, a magical land populated by human-like bugs who sing bullshit pseudo-British Invasion songs about friendship, love and other hippie crap. Their names are … wait for it … Courage, Harmony, I.Q. and Joy. They have a nemesis who is constantly trying to steal their talent so that she can (from what I gather) act like a real rock star and do piles of blow off male models’ wangs or something. Instead, they foil her every time, and then sing another song about it. Lest you start thinking that at least the villain is cool, you should be warned that the character is played by Martha Raye.

Oh and there’s a firefly involved. And a Nazi rat.

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I fucking hate The Bugaloos. They were on in syndication when I would get ready for school in the morning and I hated them even then.

However, some people don’t. In the interest of being “fair and balanced” let’s hear from some of them. These came off the Amazon.com website and if you don’t believe me, go check them out yourself. The names will remain anonymous.

“Deserves 6 stars. I watched The Bugaloos as a kid and loved the show. I even had a pleasant nighttime dream about flying through the air with them.”

Only drugs can explain this.

“Long have I wished for a return to my past. This is about as close as I can get so far. I have loved the Bugaloos and their music since I was a child. Seeing them again has brought back many fond memories. The DVD's are incredible. The songs have been in my head since I heard them the first time, and now I can hear and feel them again. I would like to know if there is any way I can e-mail long overdue fanmail.”

My favorite part of that one is “hear and feel them again”, because I know that I felt something when I heard them. I felt my bowels empty into my pants and I didn’t like that feeling. Apparently this guy did.

“Not only is it a wonderful trip down memory lane, but introducing little relatives to Tranquility Forest will also be a pleasure for you as you watch a new generation learn important lessons like being able to do anything if you set your mind to it and learning the value of true friends.”

When I do the hippie math, I come up with a sum total of eight cats and countless Friday nights spent alone. If you fit this demographic, you’ll love The Bugaloos: The Complete Series, because it’s got everything it could have that is Bugaloos related.

Presentation
This heinous mind-bending creation is presented in glorious Dolby Digital 2.0. The colors are what you would expect from a cleaned up TV show produced in the 1970’s, bringing the horror home one remastered pixel at a time.

Extras
Six of the 17 episodes on this set feature commentaries by one or more of the following, John McIndoe (“I.Q.”), Caroline Ellis (“Joy”), John Philpott (“Courage”), Tony Charmoli (Director), and Sid Krofft (Responsible Party). I could tell you that they provide valuable insight but that would require me to have watched each episode more than once and honestly, that didn’t (and will not) happen.

There’s also a Photo Gallery which is nightmare inducing to any non-hippie friends you want to get even with. The Bugaloos I.Q. Test hosted by John “I.Q.” McIndoe will test the knowledge of all those who care and then there’s The Bugaloo Video Jukebox, which will play the musical performances from each episode for you. This works much like a cult indoctrination video and will turn your brain to mush.

The Bottom Line
I guess you had to be there. I’m giving The Bugaloos: The Complete Series four stars because it’s everything a Bugaloos fan could want. However if you did not grow up on this stuff, don’t start now. It is deadly bad and can only lead to poor hygiene, life on the dole and another copy of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida sold.