If there is anything in this world which I mourn the death of more than that of the drive-in movie, I'm hard pressed to think of what it is.  Yes, I know that dates me pretty well, but seriously, straight to DVD productions just don't have the same cheap flair that some of the worst of the drive-in movies had.  As late as the early 1980's, the town I grew up in still had a two screen drive-in theater that committed one screen to showing 1940's and 1950's cheapo horror flicks on Saturday nights.  

I used to spend the night at a friends house occasionally and we would drop an aluminum boat in the canal by his house and paddle our way to where we could see the screen.  The soundtrack was broadcast on AM and we would listen on a cheap transistor radio and drink beer we either stole or got someone to buy for us.  If the movie was slow, we would sneak in and terrorize the couples in their cars.

I saw some great movies that way like The Blob, Tarantula and my first Burt Reynolds film Gator.  I also saw some real stinkers, but to us, those were some of the best ones.  That was where we honed our critical skills making fun of everything we could.  Movies like The Wasp Woman and Monster on the Campus were perfect for that sort of thing.

Even so, I don't remember ever seeing anything as bad as Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster.  This is a movie that I've always heard about, seen stills of in Famous Monsters of Filmland but until two days ago had never actually watched.  I was thrilled when DIMP mailed me this and after watching it, I'm still thrilled.  This movie is so terrible that I defy you to watch it straight faced.  This is the sort of movie that even the most humorless of people will laugh at.  It is horrible on a level I can't even properly describe.  It's also one of the best ways you can spend 77 minutes of your life.  

Here's the plot.  NASA is sending an android on a mission to Mars.  The android is so realistic, even the press thinks he's a human astronaut.  This is because he is made up of human parts but has transistors in his brain.  His name is Frank.  Yes, Frank, as in Frankenstein.

Unfortunately, there is a Martian spaceship sitting out in the atmosphere looking to raid Earth for women.  You see after many years of nuclear war, the Martians have been wiped out by radiation.  Only the ones on the spaceship have survived.  The Martian Princess Marcuzan (Marilyn Hanold of The Brain That Wouldn't Die) is leading these men to Earth in an attempt to find suitable breeding stock.  She and her main man Dr. Nadir (Lou Cutell of Young Frankenstein who I am convinced is Jon Lovitz' father) mistake the android's rocket for a missile attack and shoot it down.  

The rocket crash lands in Puerto Rico and soon the spaceship has followed in an effort to make sure he's dead.  The problem is, they don't kill him.  They only fry his transistors and send him on a murderous rampage.  While he's doing his bit to control the population, the Martians are capturing bikini-clad women.  To add to the confusion, the NASA folks are trying to find Frank around this time.  Oh, and there's a space monster on the Martian ship that is in a cage.  My guess from the outset was that he would escape and fight Frank. 

***Spoiler Alert***

I was right.    

If you're lost there's a better than average chance that it's not my description but instead, it's the actual plot that has confused you.  Yet it's not the plot that makes it so much fun.  The genius lies in its absolute disregard for anything remotely reminiscent of what is most commonly called continuity.  Also, production values are not actually considered important.  In fact, there may have been a shortage of unexposed film stock at the time because easily one third of the movie consists of stock footage of US Air Force planes and NASA images.  

This shit is hilarious.  I'm not kidding.  My wife and I ripped this thing a new one and we could easily do it again with all new jokes.  I'm positive there are lows we missed completely the first time around.  Here are some fun things to look out for:

1.  A soundtrack that has absolutely nothing to do with the film.  Love songs and fifties garage bands pepper this flick.

2.  Four people sitting in the back of a sedan that somehow defies the logic of space and physics, unless of course there are staggered bench seats in the back of a sedan.

3.  Daytime/Nighttime continuity errors that will make your head absolutely spin.

Those are just the tip of the iceberg.  Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster is an MST3K fans wet dream.

Presentation
That's the one thing this release truly lacks in.  The transfer isn't completely terrible.  It's the film they had to work with that sucks.  There are missing frames, soundtrack jumps, etc.  The fact that we can get this on DVD is great and if this is the only way I can ever see this film, I'm happy with that.  

Extras
You get a theatrical trailer which is a load of fun.  There are some still galleries which aren't too bad either but that is all there is on here.  It's mostly a bare bones affair, but again, I'm not sure what survived from this film to begin with.  

The Bottom Line
I loved this film.  Unfortunately, I know that many people won't.  I'm giving Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster a 2.5 pants rating on content alone.  The disc's presentation and lack of extras really don't help it at all.  Still I would recommend this film to anyone, especially if you can watch it with a group of people.  It's a fun, fun time.