In my younger years, I was a B-Movie fanatic… I would lock myself up in my room and gaze at the small screen, watching film after film, day after day.  For me, it was like an addiction: I would go to the three independently run (or, Mom and Pop, if you will) video stores in my local community (all of which are gone now) which carried an assortment of VHS titles and take full advantage of the Five-Movies-for-Five-Days-for-Five-Dollars deals that two of the three businesses offered, go home, and have all of them back the next day.

During the occasional road trip, I would stop into any and every video store that I came across just to see what they had for rental, for sale or what they would sell me if I hounded them enough.  In doing so, I amassed a large collection of motion pictures on videocassette (I had over 1,000 titles at one point) ranging from the latest hits to some of the most obscure oddities ever to grace the eyes of mankind. 

I pride myself on my ability to remember useless information: the face of a guy that followed my brother and I around in a Reno K-Mart when I was six, the lyrics to every song from Phantom Of The Paradise (as well as nearly every pop song from the 80s), and, more importantly (or unimportantly, depending on your point of view), the names and filmographies  of some filmmakers that have left a lasting impression on me.  Auteurs who inspired me to make my own movies… people like Herschell Gordon Lewis, Edward D. Wood Jr. (one of my idols), Lucio Fulci, Fred Olen Ray, and the late Don Dohler, the latter of whom also inspired other guys to make their own films: guys like Matt Farley and Charles Roxburgh.

While attending Providence College in 1996, Matt and Charles shared an undying love for horror films.  After they graduated, they held 48hour movie marathons (something I was quite familiar with as well… although mine usually coincided with a phony sleep-deprivation study just so I could get through eighth-grade science) which they have written entire books about (if you’re interested… and you should be, dammit, visit www.shockmarathons.com).  From doing so, these potentially-disturbed lads formed their own opinions about what makes a great horror film… then they started making films like Freaky Farley… and people like my fiancée haven’t let people like me pick out movies to watch since.

Unlike the other films Matt and Charles have collaborated on (Adventures In Cruben Country, Obtuse Todd, Druid Gladiator Clone), Freaky Farley may have set a first for Indie filmmaking: they used actual film.  Film.  FILM!  You know, the material that practically none of the independent moviemakers use?  The celluloidy substance with the frames that comes on the reel-looking thingy?  Yes, instead of using those commonly-found analog or digital cameras that everyone films their own sex acts with, Matt and Charles found an old Russian 16mm camera on the Internet that had been “upgraded” to Super-16mm quality so that it wouldn’t wind up in a museum somewhere (that means they motorized it, kids).  Strangely enough, they even found film to put in the camera!  The film distributor even delivered them overnight!  Wow!

The downside, Matt told me (in a half-assed, impromptu conversation via the world of MySpace), is that Super-16mm reels only hold about 3min of film on them (and it took approximately ten additional minutes to change spools).  That, coupled with the fact that there was no way of seeing or knowing what turned out without having the film developed first (and that doesn’t happen overnight) and that they had to redo the sound for indoor shots (their newfound toy was very loud and would record it’s own sounds) proved to be a bit difficult at times but picture-wise, Freaky Farley looks far superior to any homemade movie in recent memory (and I should probably reiterate that my memory for useless information is superb, so that’s definitely saying something!).

Now, for those of you that aren’t impressed by the thought of making a movie on film in the digital age, I shall attempt to describe Freaky Farley: Farley (Matt Farley… and it wasn’t an ego-trip on his part… so he told me) is your run-of-the-mill small town nobody that has never made it to college (oy, that sounds familiar) and lives under the oppressive thumb of his widowed father… a talk radio host who forces him to dig a hole every time he does something wrong (which is damn near an everyday occurrence).  His dad (Kevin McGee, who sort of resembles Alec Baldwin… but in a much nicer fatherly-kind-of-way) also urges Farley to get a job (it’s beginning to sound familiar again) in a community where there are no apparent jobs available (did they visit my hometown for inspiration?) and seems blissfully unaware of his son’s passion: playing peeping tom (one of my favorite pastimes as well)… an inexpensive form of entertainment that has earned him the nickname Freaky Farley.

Farley isn’t a bad kid, really… not if you compare him to the other oddballs in Morgantown, such as the town Witch (Steff Deschenes), Ninja (a guy that must’ve seen some of the very same Godfrey Ho atrocities that I have had the dissatisfaction of suffering through… only he dresses up like a ninja and makes a fool of himself in public) and Air Force Ricky (a nerdy-looking feller with a pompadour and aviator’s jacket).

Things begin to look up for poor Farley when he meets Scarlett (Sharon Scalzo), an audacious lady woman of the female sex who causes Farley to emerge from the shell he has been living in and stand up to his father once and for all.  Together, Farley and Scarlett form a bizarre friendship and make preparations to visit Mr. Farley’s cabin in the dreaded Morgantown Woods: a mysterious forest with a long history of unsolved murders and disappearances.  A homeless man (Jerry Demers) claims that the woods are inhabited by Trogs, but nobody ever listens to his ranting long enough to ask what Trogs are. 

As the movie shifts to horror, Farley finally snaps and takes out a number of deserving individuals with a carving knife along with a group of Trogs (which look suspiciously like guys covered in moss wearing Hallowe’en monster gloves) before being subdued by Ninja.  But Farley’s killing spree is just the beginning and when the Trogs begin to threaten Morgantown’s Annual Apple Bobbing Festival, the Mayor (Jim McHugh) assigns the certifiable Farley to take the vicious beasts out.  To ensure that Farley does not escape, however, The Mayor delegates the Witch and Farley’s new arch-nemesis, Ninja to assist him.

Yes, it’s a cheesy, cheaply made no-budget wonder shot in just a few weeks with a cast of unknown, untrained actors… but that’s what makes it entertaining (and it’s certainly better than watching anything with Tom Cruise, John Travolta or Nicolas Cage).


Presentation
Normally, these do-it-yourself horror films are shot-on-video, dipped in a solution of turpentine and camel urine, and subsequently distributed via second-generation video dupes.  As a matter of fact, I rarely review (let along watch) Indie horror films of this nature (and I mean you, Joseph F. Parda & Tim Ritter - you morons suck!), so for me, a jaded-independent-horror-film-fan, saying the picture quality of Freaky Farley is exceptional damn well means something!  The Super-16mm film stock gives the film very vibrant, grainy, fuzzy, authentic-70s-B-Movie-schlock feel: the leaves are green, the sunshine actually illuminates, and the fake blood looks really fake (in a good way, of course)!  The picture is framed at 1.78:1 and is enhanced for widescreen televisions (another plus).  The sound, while rather flat sounding (in case you didn’t know, ADR isn’t as widespread in the make-your-own-movie world like it is in Hollywood) is nonetheless robust and doesn’t roller coaster like many DVDs of this caliber do, so you won’t have to continuously crank the volume up an down.  The All Region DVD for Freaky Farley is (as of this writing) only available through it’s distributor, Film Baby.

Extras
Submitted for your approval is the Making-Of Freaky Farley (29:31), an in-depth behind-the-scenes look with members of the cast and crew (most of whom worked on both sides of the camera).  It’s so interesting to watch how comfortable a lot of the cast members are when they’re being filmed in a ‘casual’ environment as opposed to their wooded, deer-in-the-headlights during the film (again, in a good way).  There is also a Teaser Trailer (0:41) for the film which you can see on the Film Baby website or the official website, and a shameless plug for the Shock Marathon books.

The Bottom Line
If you’re a fan of vintage low-budget horror flicks, you owe it to yourself to pick up a copy of Freaky Farley (and no, they didn’t pay me to say that… although I do invite them to call upon me should they need a composer, editor, writer, actor, director, producer… ).