You know exactly what kind of film The Game Plan is. The film is advertised as a family comedy, but that isn't entirely accurate, as the film, and many family films like it, mistakes cuteness for funny. Don't automatically think that's a bad thing either, because The Game Plan finds a fun combination between sporty personality Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and creepily-wise-beyond-her-years child star Madison Pettis. But again, cute doesn't automatically mean funny. A dog in a tutu might make you go “Aw,” but it's not going to make you cackle. It probably won't make your kids cackle either, but you'll smile, nod your head and move on to the next bit. That is, until the film dive-bombs into a pit of horrible despair. I'm not kidding.
Dwayne Johnson (who I will continue to call Dwayne, as it's obvious the man wants some credibility when it comes to his acting chops) plays Joe Kingman, a football quarterback who has it all; the giant penthouse suite with his image gracing every cubic centimeter imaginable, nameless, faceless women falling to his feet (including Transporter 2 alum Kate Nauta - rowr), endorsement deals that would make Tiger Woods envious and enough money to wipe an entire species of his choice off the face of the earth if he so desires.
But, deep down inside, Joe Kingman is a lonely, sad man. You can tell this because, at the end of the day, he's still left in his lavishly adorned apartment alone and unloved. That is until a little bundle of cute joy arrives on his doorstep, and that cute bundle of cute joy is Peyton, Joe's long lost daughter. You see, Joe married and divorced at a very young age and, like any responsible adults should, Joe left without ever getting in contact with his wife, and his wife decided not to even mention the fact that she was pregnant. With child.
 But the fun doesn't stop there, because we've got a whole slew of cutesy set pieces to go through, there's the aforementioned dog in a tutu, there's the bubbles in the bathtub scene, the bedazzled football - crud, you've basically seen all the set-ups in the trailer, including the honestly amusing Kingman's allergic to cinnamon bit. There's even an extended ballet segment as Dwayne gets to grow and learn from his child, but then everything hits a brick wall as it's revealed that no, Peyton's mother and Joe's ex-wife is not actually on safari in Africa trying to clean up the drinking water for the local inhabitants, but has actually been dead for six months.
Spoiler alert.
And at that point, any shred of cuteness and fun has jumped out of a window, as we get awkward, uncomfortable scene after awkward, uncomfortable scene of Joe and Peyton trying to cope with their family drama. It's not an ultimately uplifting tale of family redemption; it's just a tonal gut-punch, resembling the switcharoo pulled off in such films as From Dusk Till Dawn, Dancer in the Dark and Audition. Dead mothers. Broken homes. Fathers too wrapped up in themselves to even find out of they have a kid or not. Thanks, Disney.
 PRESENTATION
Interestingly enough, The Game Plan comes in the standard clamshell case, yet doesn't feature the little flip-top suitcase security snaps that accompany most, if not all of the newer Disney DVD releases, which makes me wonder if they're trying to tell us something. But I digress - the audio and visual presentation of The Game Plan is pleasing, though not extraordinary. The film is presented in a clean, vivid, grain-free 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer, making it the second most useless scope film of 2007, trailing right behind the Bratz movie. The audio, while not sporting any defects and always coming in clear as a bell, still suffers from comedy soundtrack-itis, though with its football plot, The Game Plan manages to pack a little unexpected punch in your viewing experience. Not unlike its dead mother plot twist.
EXTRAS
Let me start off by pointing out that the commentary advertised in the pre-release info is mysteriously missing from the actual DVD itself - apparently this feature is exclusive to the Blu-Ray version. It features Director Andy Fickman and Dwayne Johnson doodling on the screen, which is oddly enough a feature I've seen utilized on DVD repeatedly. But hey, that means less time viewing and reviewing the disc itself, which in turn means I can sell this disc off quicker in order to buy alcohol. Double edged sword, my friend. Who the hell knows, buy me a Blu-Ray player and an HDTV so I can check it out.
 But what actually made the disc is sure to please a fan of the film. There are nine deleted scenes featured on the disc and, including individual introductions for each snippet, runs about 25 minutes in total. There's nothing revealing in these excised moments, but the feature is still head and shoulders above the Bloopers with Marv Albert feature, which is, you guessed it, bloopers narrated by American treasure Marv Albert. Drafting the Game Plan gets the high marks as it's well balanced and features less than positive footage of the director, Andy Fickman. That's not to say he isn't cheerful, there's just a thin line between cheerful and passive aggressive, and Fickman straddles that line fascinatingly.
The last two features (besides the expected Trailers, of course) are game-specific; ESPN's Sportcenter: The Rock Learn To Play QB, and The King In Search Of A Ring are geared towards people into sports, and I'm just a big girl when it comes to that stuff. The former explains Dwayne Johnson's background in defensive playing and his cinematic conversion to aggressive Quarterback, while the latter is an extended bit of scene-within-a-scene documentary on Joe Kingman featured in the film itself. And those trailers? Dear Christ, Snow Buddies looks awful. I can't wait to review it. I have to keep myself well sauced, you know.
 Oh, and there are a few kid-centric features, including a Set-Top Game, and the ability to change the mood, lighting and music of the main menu. Kids are apparently easily distracted and kind of depressed.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Disney takes a little, slightly enjoyable film and blows it in the final act with overwrought melodrama that kills the film. Not even the talent, chemistry, nor even the coldly calculated dance number during the credits can save the film from its inappropriate sentimentality.
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