Let me tell you about how good a concept The Grand is,
because that’s basically what this movie has going for it. I start
the review off this way because I’m truly impressed by what director
Zak Penn has done with the jumping point of retroscripting (a fancy name
for improvisation). Set around a ten million dollar game of poker, Penn
decided to shape the film around a real-life poker game the stars took
place in, taking the game’s outcome and applying it to the film
itself – funny that a film about poker is structured around a game
of Russian roulette. Zak Penn has also assembled a downright surreal cast
including Woody Harrelson, David Cross, the inappropriately unappreciated
Richard Kind, Chris Parnell, better actor than director Brett Ratner,
Gabe Kaplan and, my personal favorite, Werner Herzog as the animal slaughtering
German, who has to kill an animal a day for luck.
I want to start off this review with its good, nay, great attributes
because outside of those, The Grand just isn’t
terribly involving. There are many fun moments to be had in the
film, but The Grand suffers from what I call Lazy Man’s
Comedy, in that more often than not, the film requires you do
have a pre-existing knowledge of either what’s going on, or who’s
on stage for it to make any sense. I think that stunt-casting
sitcom star and real life poker player Gabe Kaplan is a masterstroke
of some sorts, if you don’t know that, you’re missing out
on most of the joke.
 Sorry, I got bored by my own writing and decided to clean in-between
the keys on my keyboard using the thin cardboard backing from my checkbook.
Woody Harrelson is “One Eyed” Jack Faro, professional poker
player, professional alcoholic, permanent rehab attendee, and owner of
the Lucky’s Rabbit’s Foot casino. Due to Jack’s consistent
drug use and alimony payments being sent to his seventy-some-odd ex-wives,
The Rabbit’s Foot is neck-deep in the crapper, and the only thing
that Faro can do to keep from selling the property is to both host and
participate in The World Championship of Poker.
 Through this plot device, we are introduced to our cast of wacky characters
including brother and sister rivals Larry and Lainie Schwartzman, old-timer
Deuce Fairbanks, Aspergian Harold Melvin, and true amateur Andy Andrews,
who stumbled upon the poker tournament after attempting to find fireplace
pokers online. And boy are these guys wacky with a capital crazy – Larry
and Lainie were trained from day one by their overbearing father to be
the best, Larry turning into a mess of screaming aggression (a David
Cross specialty), Lainie dominating her passive husband (Ray Romano as
Ray Romano). Deuce longs for the old days when women weren’t allowed
on the casino floor while wearing Culottes, Harold can’t talk without
mentioning the novel Dune, and who knows – maybe
neophyte Andy Andrews is actually cunning online poker personality PocketAces,
moonlighting as a Midwestern dope.
 The Grand is just far too in-jokey for its own good – let’s
compare it to the films of Christopher Guest for the moment, as The
Grand has (admittedly) stolen the framework: Guest’s films
used their plot as a jumping point, you have to have an understanding
of Texas Hold ‘Em Poker to comprehend the film. And even if you’ve
played a few hands, the film still comes up a bit short. The characters
can be overwhelming at times and, rather than coming off as merely eccentric,
it stretches into near inhuman levels.
Even with this imbalance, The Grand has a few funny
moments – when not reveling in his own boring-ass political commentary
masked as stand-up or starting up Internet flame wars, David Cross can
be one funny motherfucker, and it’s hard not to point out that,
even without his crazy-hot wife at his side, Werner Herzog is a blast
every moment he’s on screen. Unfortunately, The Grand fails
as a film, but excels in its conception.
 Presentation
Shot on high definition video cameras chosen specifically for the fact
that they could shoot slow motion (a rarity on hi-def video for some
unexplained reason), The Grand isn’t trying to
look like a big feature film and Anchor Bay’s transfer lives up
to its digital roots. It’s no-frills, gets the job done perfectly,
but still feels like a goddamn home video. Which ultimately the film
is anyway – just a bunch of friends getting together to film themselves
doing something they enjoy. But the video, as well as the audio
does tend to pop a little better in the last third of the film when the
televised poker game shtick kicks into play, with flashy computer graphics
and an appropriate score trying to convey the seriousness of… Televised
poker.
 Extras
Anchor Bay packs the extras deep on this release, starting with a fun audio
commentary featuring Zak Penn. Matt Bierman and Michael Karnow.
The track is overly jokey, but knows when to slip in nuggets
of information and knows when to point out its shortcomings. If you’re wondering
where the actors are when it comes to the bonus features don’t
worry, we also have select scenes with audio commentary featuring
the likes of Woody Harrelson, Ray Romano and Cheryl Hines.
Harrelson is especially amusing as he stumbles across his words in a
pot-haze while making fun of Oliver Stone’s flops.
 Due to the improv nature of the film, we’ve got piles upon piles
of deleted footage, ranging from deleted scenes to alternate
endings to player profiles. The player profiles section
being the best out of the three as it presents extra footage from the
in-film televised poker show, which is pretty much the best material
in the film. If only the entire film could be like these mini-biographies.
We also get the required-as-far-as-I’m-concerned trailer and TV
Spot. God, I love marketing.
Don’t forget, there’s also trailers for Daniel “Holy
Shit, The Heathers Guy” Waters’ Sex
and Death 101, and Starz’s original series Head
Case.
The Bottom Line
I don’t necessarily
believe filmmakers have to pander to an audience in order to
make a good film,
but there’s definitely a
point where you should give your audience a little more than
your friends sitting around a table making in-jokes. The film
has a few good bits and pieces, but is hindered by its self-indulgence. The Grand looks
like it was an absolute blast to make, but it doesn’t always translate
into a good film.
How can a film starring Gabe Kaplan, Werner Herzog and Tiny
Lister not be the greatest movie in the world is a question that cannot
be answered.
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