Note: I’m reviewing the Unrated Director’s Cut which runs about 11 minutes longer than the original theatrical cut. There are apparently scenes that were also removed from the theatrical cut and some (but not all) of the scenes from the work print that was floating around the Internet are now included. I’m not familiar with any of these versions so please accept my apologies in advance if you’re looking for differences. There will also be SPOILERS in this review. I assume that you’re familiar with at very least the original Halloween. If you aren’t… well go buy that instead.

I’m a huge defender of remakes. Don’t get me wrong, I grow tired of them like the rest of the world, but their existence doesn’t bother me. Out of the many horror remakes of recent years, a few of them even surprised me. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake was solid, and even last year’s Black Christmas impressed me by going of and exploring entirely new ground. So when it came time that my favorite horror film of all time got around to being remade, I really didn’t mind at all. John Carpenter’s Halloween is an absolute 5-star masterpiece and whether the remake was good or bad ultimately wouldn’t matter to me because I will always be returning every year at least once to revisit Halloween. Despite this, I never had the opportunity to see Rob Zombie’s update theatrically. But avoiding all comments on the film, I still went into this remake reasonably upbeat while still not expecting the original classic to birth another.

But I’d be lying to say I wasn’t still disappointed.

First of all, I appreciate that Zombie wanted to take his Halloween into an altogether different direction and show us a different angle to a familiar Shape. I just think he misses the mark despite having several different and often intriguing ideas. The beginning of the film is entirely expanded to mixed results. Here, we are given something of an origin to Myers’ maniacal mentality. His upbringing is the sort of white trash that the lowest of low-class would still despise. The Myers’ family is filthy, vile and to a point are caricatures of the most dysfunctional family ever. Sheri Moon Zombie plays Michael’s mother, and while she’s a stripper (a day stripper at that) she’s the most humane character in the family. Despite this, her passiveness allows her to let the constant vulgarity of her crippled boyfriend Ronnie (William Forsythe) spout forth over her children. Judith Myers (Hanna Hall) is trampish and lusted after over her mother’s boyfriend, and Michael Myers (Daeg Faerch) himself is picked upon incessantly by the same man causing him to take out his aggression on small animals. Michael’s school life isn’t any more of a comfort zone, as he’s constantly picked on there for being different also. There’s nothing at all working in this kid’s favor.

So that’s a nice little set up for a future serial killer, isn’t it? Well, that’s part of my problem with it. It’s a fucking set up. Straight from the start, Michael is shown as being a victimized little sociopath worthy of sympathy. I realize this isn’t the same character that John Carpenter brought to the screen over 30 years ago, but the whole point of Michael Myers is that he was a mystery. No one knows what made him change into a sudden monster. There was no evidence at all that the Myers family wasn’t your typical suburban middle class household. The kid just snapped. End of story, usher in the Strode. But you know what? I could have looked past the altogether demystification of the villain (again, they did it in the Black Christmas remake) but they took it another step further with making the whole young Myers story stretch out into an almost Unsolved Mysteries meets Cold Case Files aspect to Sam Loomis’ (Malcolm McDowell, A Clockwork Orange) study of the young psychopath. It’s overblown, dragged out and continuously beats us over the head about Michael’s deteriorating mind and his disassociating of himself so that he feels compelled to wear masks. This is all stuff that could have been presumed without having been explained and if Michael was so creative that he would be designing Slipknot masks in his cell, why the reliance on the classic Shat-mask that was the trademark of Carpenter’s villain at all?

There are other gripes that I have with the sanitarium act. Primarily, there is an absolutely unnecessarily brutal rape sequence that would be offensive if it wasn’t so ridiculously stupid and used exclusively as a catalyst for Michael (now aged roughly 15 more years and played menacingly by Tyler Mane of X-Men fame) to escape. There’s a switch in the new Michael’s established character traits as he brutally kills the one person that has defended him for years (I understand this was filmed differently but changed) and if you think I’ve gone on far too long bitching about everything to the point that Myers breaks free, it’s because the film takes too fucking long to get to that point.

Now I understand that many people out there complain that Zombie shows far too much homage and lifts directly (dialogue and all) scenes from the original film once Myers goes on his murder spree. Interestingly enough, that didn’t bother me so much. I feel that enough significant changes were made stylistically during the second half of the film that I was kept interested despite the fact that I had no ability to judge where Myers would be from moment to moment. I did think the sheer brutality displayed, like on the sudden attack at the Strode house made for an interesting contrast with the original’s more stiff-moving Shape. In fact, one of the larger surprises for me personally coming out of the first half is just how much I liked the new Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) and McDowell’s take on Loomis. Of course, McDowell plays best when going for the gusto and the Loomis character allows for him to build upon Donald Pleasance’s more reserved madness. Still, with as used to Jamie Lee Curtis as this jaded horror reviewer has been over his lifetime, I think that Taylor-Compton did a damn fine job bringing a little edginess to the virginal Strode without going overboard into unbelievable territory.

I hope that after a few viewings I will warm up more to this remake, because while I’m woefully unimpressed after this first viewing due to so many inconsistencies, there is still a lot to admire. First, having the balls alone to remake such a beloved film is worth noting, and I think that Rob Zombie brought a unique visual style to the film that another director wouldn’t have even considered attempting. I like the overall ending. I feel it’s a very refreshing finale, and I do like that Loomis was more fleshed out as a character making the film more about the Loomis-Myers relationship than the Strode one, which the script even happily explains which I found welcome. It isn’t that the 2007 is without merit, it’s just that it has far too much wrong with it.

Presentation
Weinstein knocks out another fine DVD with the reimagining of Halloween. The transfer is a stunner with very, very deep blacks and the second half of the film is full of them. The 5.1 surround mix isn’t bad, but it isn’t as spectacular as I would have expected. Again, it really hits hard at times but I never felt knocked out either. It does wonderfully reproduce the new score by Tyler Bates and the reproduction of Carpenter’s classic themes. No one is going to be disappointed by the presentation here at all. Subtitles are available in English and Spanish.

Extras
I may not have liked the film, but surprisingly, I loved the content.

Feature Commentary by Writer/Director Rob Zombie –
It’s funny, I was actually more interested in hearing this commentary after realizing that I was unimpressed with the film. Well Zombie is very well spoken here and covers just about everything you might want to know about the remake. I found it a very interesting listen, especially the talk about his own script changes and some of which I have to agree were probably wise decisions. This is a track for everyone, even non-fans to listen to.

Alternate Ending with Optional Director’s Commentary – (3:47)
Without revealing too much, the end result is the same. It just involves a different means to the end. That said, I would have been satisfied with this ending, but I preferred the version used in the feature.

Deleted scenes with Optional Director’s Commentary – (21:58)
Seventeen deleted scenes are here and after watching them, none of them stand out as anything that would have benefited the film. Plus, seeing how much I felt the film dragged, it’s probably a good thing these were removed and/or altered. Well, except for Adrienne Barbeau’s scene; this should have remained in because Barbeau is tres awesome.

Bloopers – (10:17)
If you only have time for one feature when you rent this, watch these bloopers. Watching McDowell go balls-out insane on just about everyone on the set at one point or another is brilliant. I especially liked his “This canary has obviously been raped!” speech.

The Many Masks of Michael Myers – (6:28)
As you might expect, this feature is not about the music, or the set design or the scriptwriting process. It’s about the masks and the making of the masks used in the film. I’m jaded to these type of features, but it’s brief enough to not wear out its welcome. I did find the origin and creation of the younger Myers’ clown costume to be interesting though.

Re-Imagining Halloween – (19:04)
Here comes your production featurettes. Divided into three chapters, From Camera to Screen covers your basic pre-production from Zombie’s early talks with Carpenter and how he envisioned things using non-horror films as basis for inspiration. Production Design is self-descriptive. The highlight is definitely the decaying of the Myers house. Finally, Make Up Effects, Props and Wardrobe has the rest of the fun stuff in it. Prop knives, gore effects, etc. The ways things work are broken down. It isn’t the meatiest featurettes ever but it does the job of showing the behind-the-scenes production honestly.

Meet the Cast – (18:17)
The most interesting revelation in this feature is that Malcolm McDowell has never seen the original Halloween so he had no idea how Donald Pleasance portrayed Sam Loomis. But aside from that, I appreciate that almost all of the main stars are here to discuss their own casting and what they wanted to bring to their characters. It certainly helps coat the typical “oh the cast is so great” bullshit that’s always present in these. Definitely a better than average featurette.

Casting Sessions – (29:52)
15 different casting sessions are included here. Although, unsurprisingly there isn’t one for Sherri Moon Zombie. Hmmmm. These are interesting to watch. I’m kind of surprised that they bothered with auditioning Halloween 4 & 5 vet Danielle Harris (who rocked this shit as Annie). Oh, and did they really need to cast Clint Howard? Doesn’t he have a “get into any genre movie free” card by now?

Laurie Strode Screen Test – (7:48)
Here, Scout Taylor-Compton gives more of a prominent acting demonstration than what was seen in the Casting Sessions. This is the scene where the three girls talk after leaving school where they all first notice Michael Myers from across the street.

Theatrical Trailer – (2:02)
I actually thought the trailer was pretty damned effective. Now in the days where trailers are getting scarcer, I’m glad they included it. A bit bummed it’s the only non-anamorphic bonus feature though.

Sneak Peaks –
There is an additional gallery showing the trailers for Death Proof, Planet Terror, 1408 and The Furnace. While the other three films are great, watching The Furnace seems less enjoyable than eating ass-pancakes.

A surprisingly solid collection of bonus features!

The Bottom Line
I can’t recommend Halloween without reservations, but it does have Danielle Harris topless and a couple of short scenes with the ALWAYS AWESOME Udo Kier, so I guess I really don’t have to. Besides, if you’re at all interested, you’ll be seeing this if you haven’t already. But if you do like Zombie’s take, you’ll be getting an awesome DVD in the process which is definitely worth owning if you’re a fan.

		Halloween (2007) – Unrated Director’s Cut
2.5		Feature - I can’t say I liked it much, sadly.
4		Video - The transfer is very effective with very rich, deep blacks.
4		Audio - The 5.1 remix is really good, particularly in the second half.
5		Extras - Excellent extras that fans will love.

3.5