#1. You must start your film out with a bloody murder -- preferably in a flashback segment -- wherein the murderer’s debilitating childhood trauma is seen briefly via creepy music, blurry images, and cries of agony… thus establishing the damning torment that our unseen assassin endures, and hinting towards what kind of specific modus operandi he or she prefers to use in the movie’s subsequent massacres.

Example: During the opening of In The Folds Of The Flesh, the first actual scene bears the decapitated head of a man lying on a floor. This sequence immediately follows a quote from Sigmund Freud that has (hilariously) been mistranslated and, as such, comes out rather illiterate. In The Folds Of The Flesh is not your typical whodunit giallo -- we already know who the killer is, when their first killing took place, why the odious act was committed against the prematurely departed, as well as how the crime was executed… answering the standard “Who”, “When”, “Why”, and “How” queries in advance, and leaving only one question unanswered: “What”… which, in the case of the flamboyantly wacky In The Folds Of The Flesh, is followed by “… the fuck?”.

#2. Murder may be the official purpose of the film, but always remember that the most important aspect of any Giallo is the inclusion of nekkid women. Flesh must pour out of loose clothing even more frequently than blood flows from a freshly severed vein. Once your sultry female costars disrobe, of course, it is imperative that they engage in the act of what the Pope likes to call “nookie”.

Example: In The Folds Of The Flesh doesn’t disappoint on this aspect, either -- from Pier Angeli’s regular romps with random men to Eleonora Rossi Drago’s epic Concentration Camp flashback, there’s a sufficient amount of skin here, kids (interestingly enough, this would prove to be the final film for both the late Ms. Drago and Angeli, the latter of whom was once James Dean’s sweetheart and who died just as tragically). Why, even the blubbery Fernando Sancho (who played the blubbery mayor in Return Of The Blind Dead) shows a little more of himself than most sane individuals would care to lay their eyes upon!

#3. Always bear in mind: the more garish your movie is, the better. Flashbacks from the subconscious of the perpetrator and nightmare sequences for the protagonist must be both frequent and freaky -- this will somehow help to remind the audience members that these are real human beings (although I’m not entirely sure as to “how”). Costumes must be as swingin’ as possible. Bright, flashy colors are to be used copiously. Don’t be afraid to buy some paint from the hardware store and splash it around the set for your bizarre flashback and/or nightmare sequences. Any paint left over from set construction must be dumped on the floor and used in order to create a swirling optical effect for the opening and ending credits. You may also (should you so desire) superimpose these colorful opticals over flashback and/or nightmare sequences.

Example: It is difficult to put into words what In The Folds Of The Flesh director Sergio Bergonzelli so graciously captured on film… and so I invoke my right to use the age-old adage, “a picture is worth a thousand words”. See for yourself (pick any photo, any at all).

#4. Feel free to introduce as many characters as you want, whenever you want (the more bizarre these people are, the better -- it will only help give your film that esoteric or “Euro” feel to it). You can always have your killer waste the new additions to the cast should they at any time become too increasingly difficult to write for.

Example: One of the first characters we see in this film is an unsavory escaped convict...who promptly vanishes from the story for about half of the film. Next, a new character shows up… and is promptly murdered. Yet another new face appears (Víctor Alcázar aka Vic Winner from several Paul Naschy films)… only to disappear in an equally bereaving way. Throughout the entire length of the film, our main characters show their passion for being weird by listening to taped recordings of themselves reading bum poetry (which they make out to), tend to (and obsess about) their noisy exotic birds, and proudly boast their contempt for anything even remotely resembling fashion to the entire audience. By the time you’ve come to accept these people for who they truly (regrettably) are, we find out, that, well… see #5.

#5. No matter how many people you murder during the film… despite the fact that some of them are completely and utterly insane… regardless of what sorts of individuals you have come to accept the characters in the motion picture as being, you can always turn the entire story around with a sudden, swift, whiplash-inducing 180-degree turn.

Example: Forget everything I just said about In The Folds Of The Flesh. It’s all bollocks. The murderer, their childhood trauma, every thing the movie has set you up to believe is all completely debunked in what is quite possibly one of the biggest copout “Ha, ha, fooled you!” moments in Giallo cinema.

Heh, silly Italians.

Presentation
Aside from some minor scratches and blemishes on the print source used, Severin has done a really nice job with transferring In The Folds Of The Flesh to one of those digital versatile discs and the colors almost seem to scream out “Helloooo!” in the most flamboyant manner possible. Accompanying the 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen presentation is a very nice English Stereo soundtrack.

Extras
As interesting as it would have been to see a Featurette sporting a few Interviews with any of the surviving cast or crew members involved in the production of this motion picture, it didn’t happen (they’re either all dead or too embarrassed). Instead (and this addition may be just as well), we get an International Theatrical Trailer (3:21) of the film (for export purposes only) that is even crazier than the movie itself.

The Bottom Line
Sorry to disappoint you BBW lovers out there, but sadly, In The Folds Of The Flesh is not a chubby sex porn flick.