As illustrated in my shot-down-in-its-prime series of articles titled A Year in Disneyland, I am quite the fan of the big mouse when it comes to its theme parks, but when it comes to its cinematic output, I probably lost interest in childhood.

The negativity sort of ebbed away when the first Pirates Of The Caribbean film hit theaters, and while a bit bloated, it still managed to bring a surprising amount of fun to the big screen despite the possible calamity a film based on a ride could be. Then something snapped - Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest came along, and I know I'm in the minority with this opinion, it managed to trump the first film in every way by being absolutely fucking insane, coming off like an absurd, drug-fueled first draft that never got pulled back due to logistics and budget constraints. The things that people complained about, I fully embraced; the running time, the scenery chewing, the inability to make a lick of sense, everything. 

So, Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End rolls around, and I wonder how the cast and crew were going to top its predecessor, and the answer is that At World's End misses the mark by trying to tie up plotlines that nobody in their right minds were able to actually follow in the previous two films. But hey, it does start with a mass execution featuring women and children, so it can't be all that bad. 

The last we saw shamelessly effeminate Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) was in the belly of the Lovecraft-y Kraken, sent to his watery grave by the lovely though two-timing Elizabeth Swann. Unfortunately for everyone involved, Sparrow was in fact one of the nine pirate lords who are now being called to arms, which means Elizabeth, Will Turner and the newly resurrected Captain Barbossa now have to go search for the literal End Of The Earth in order to bring Jack Sparrow back to the land of the living. Sparrow meanwhile is enjoying a ride on the good ship existentialism, caught in limbo with no one but himself and his ship, which he tries dragging across infinity. Clearly, a Fitzcarraldo-esque side plot is exactly what the kids are looking for these days. 

Ol' Cap'n Jack, grown sick of the afterlife, sets out to defeat the immortal Davey Jones in order to take Jones' place as king of the seven seas. There are a few snags along the way, though: Chow Yun-Fat in full Fu Manchu mode is along for every step of the way, Tia Dalma turns out to be goddess Calypso, ready to bring down her aquatic wrath and, Jesus Christ, even Sparrow's father, Keith friggin' Richards is here to give his down-to-Earth, alcoholic advice.  

While it's hard to decry Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End for being an absolute mess of a film after vehemently defending the hell out of Dead Man's Chest, that's exactly what I'm going to do: At World's End is a case of too many cooks spoiling the broth, with its introduction of dozens of new characters and plot elements, there's absolutely no balance to this madness. Instead of frenzied convolution that peppered the action and comedy of the previous films, At World's End is dour, shifting its tone in every scene and taking its mythos far, far too seriously.  

That's not to say the film is without its merits; Johnny Depp continues to dominate the series, showing that characterization can easily trump any special effect in a film - a considerable feat when you've got Industrial Light and Magic piloting the Cthulhu-riffic Davey Jones. And hey, even though you might be forced to watch the eye-rolling love story element between Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly, at least you have Geoffrey Rush swallowing the scenery whole with his snaggletoothed Captain Barbossa.  

Ultimately, Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End is more of the same, but with a few tragic missteps along the way. Sometimes excess can work in favor of a film, but this is not the case for the end of the trilogy, which, by the way, completely keeps an open ending for the guaranteed third sequel.

Presentation
With a running time of approximately forever, it's surprising that At World's End comes out virtually unscathed. Early reports on the DVD presentation from other review sites that I will not mention (let's just say that it rhymes with DVDBeaver.com) suggest a fuzzy, soft image, but they must have received a bum screener disc as my retail copy looks rather sharp, with a good color and contrast - an important element considering Gore Verbinski's willingness to experiment with both from film to film, and in the case of At World' s End, set piece to set piece. 

Also present is the expected 5.1 Dolby Digital surround mix, which is understandably pirate-y - however, there was one moment in Davey Jones' dialogue that had a bizarre error where his voice suddenly went distorted for a second, resembling that of an Aphex Twin 300-BPM snare rush. As it only happened in that brief moment, I can only chalk it up to a production error rather than design. It doesn't affect the overall viewing experience - however it seems strange that Disney couldn't smooth out such a minimal, split-second error.

Extras
Most of the extras featured on this limited edition two-disc set are of a promotional nature, running from five to ten minutes, you're not going to get the most knowledge out of such features like Keith and the Captain: On Set with Johnny Depp and The Rock Legend, Masters of Design - Creating the World of Pirates The World of Chow Yun-Fat, The Tale of Many Jacks, Hoist the Colours - The Story Behind the Song, The Pirate Maestro: The Music of Hans Zimmer, and a few Deleted Scenes With Optional Commentary, all of which are absolutely self-explanatory, but there are a few substantial features on the disc, including the impressive Anatomy of a Scene: The Malestrom, a twenty-minute feature about the final act of the film, taking place entirely on stage in front of bluescreen, and the Masters of Design section, which features five mini-documentaries about smaller aspects of the art design, such as Sao Feng's Map, Davey Jones' background crew, and Keith Richards' costume. 

Also included, aimed more at kids but helpful to anyone wanting to know what the fuck is going on in the movie, there's the interactive Inside The Brethren Court, which features more background info on the characters featured in the little pirate club. Not essential, but it does help to slightly untangle the convoluted mess of the plot. 

Strangely, Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End is the odd man out when it comes to extras, as it is the only DVD in the trilogy not to feature an audio commentary outside of the deleted scenes. Nerds like me miss these sorts of things. But hey, Disc 1 keeps up with tradition and still gives us the Blooper Reel we expected. 

Oh, and course Disney front-loads the first disc with their selection of trailers. Do you care about High School Musical 2? Did you even care about High School Musical 1? I didn't. 

Also available is the single-disc edition, which only contains the Blooper Reel, as far as I know. But who cares about that, right? You want all the goodies, and you know it.

The Bottom Line
Not necessarily an unsatisfying conclusion, Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End tries to satisfy the audience's needs, and yet still doesn't know what the hell it wants to be. Kids'll probably be completely turned off by the ultra-dark adult moments, while the adults will grow tired of its nonsensical plot and sixty-hour running time. In summation: It's a summer blockbuster film. Did you expect anything else?