I’ve talked about this many times, through my reviews, on the forums and via the podcast
I record in the closet of my 780 square feet apartment because it’s the only place that’s
not infested with fleas at the moment, but I feel as if I should re-state it again: I truly feel
angry at the point in time I was born – in fact, let’s expand it to, say, 1980 until 1986.
This is because while I and all of my peers were children of the ‘80s, you really had to
have been born in the mid ‘70s in order to appreciate the good that came out of the ‘80s.
Sure, my generation gets off on the wacky postmodern irony of hammer pants, but that’s
not the point – let me illustrate the issue: People who were born in the mid ‘70s not only
got to see the rise of the Hardcore music scene of the ‘80s, but also participate in it. Kids
born from 1980 until, say, 1986? “Walk the Dinosaur” by Was (Not Was).
My sister, growing into a young adult got to hang out buying records at Licorice Pizza on
the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood. My first record was We Built This City (on Rock
and Roll) by Starship. Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo! Vs. Smooth
Noodlemaps. This is why my generation is made up entirely of douchebags. I’m sorry. Square Pegs however allows me to live the experience of high school in the ‘80s –
scratch that – it allows me to experience high school in general, as I never bothered to
attend high school for more than about two weeks. And look where I am now.
What I do know is that if I managed to care about my livelihood and attended school, I
probably would have winded up directly in the company of Square Pegs’ protagonists:
Patty (a pre-nose job Sarah Jessica Parker) and Lauren (Amy Linker, no credits past 1985
on the IMDB, no messages on her messageboard) are the losers of the world; targets for
incessant bullying, social outcasts, desperate for the attention and adoration of their
 cooler, more popular schoolmates. Unfortunately, the old “with age comes wisdom”
adage rings true, as Patty and Lauren don’t realize that it’s not the unpopular versus the
popular, it’s the unpopular versus the douchebags.
I mean, what did the cool kids have to offer? LaDonna might be the sassy black
schoolgirl with the beaded braids and her hatred for all other than herself, but does she
contribute anything? And Jennifer DeNuccio? She’s got a cute look, but she might be a
functioning autistic. The only one to come out resembling anything close to a human
being is Muffy, the Jewish American Princess who scores Devo for her Bat Mitzvah
when she isn’t cloyingly raising money for Guatemalan children.
Square Pegs is a blast to watch, as it is both amusing and the saddest show imaginable.
While the series was glossy and accompanied by an inappropriate laugh track, the series
hallmark was Patty and Lauren’s pain and anxieties. It’s emotional honesty like this that
sank Square Pegs after a single season – ironically appropriate considering the context
of the show.
 Presentation
I don’t really want to give into any sort of hyperbole, but Square Pegs is one of the
better TV-on-DVD presentations I’ve seen so far, especially when taking the age of the
material in to consideration. Shot on film, these episodes are spotless, crisp, with fine
detail – the DVD set is even flagged for progressive scan players, a rarity in television
shows for some unexplained reason. The colors might seem a touch off at time, but you
might as well chalk that up to the ‘80s. Everything was brighter to the point of
obnoxiousness in the ‘80s.
However, there is some trade-off – a lot of the original music that was on the show has
been replaced due to various copyright issues. Purists are up in arms, but the fact that the
show is now on DVD is a plus no matter what. The audio itself might not be a 5.1
upgrade, but it’s clear as a bell, even when recorded in sparse, echo-filled high school
passageways.
 Extras
Sony has put together a reasonable package overall. Not only do we get the entire series
cleaned up and pretty, we also get a series of talking head documentaries featuring just
about every actor involved in the series (RIP Johnny Slash) including a gracious Sarah
Jessica Parker who apparently didn’t have much to do at the time, and the still nailable
Jami Gertz. Also included are two unrelated episodes of The Facts Of Life and Silver
Spoons. Two shows I never bothered watching as a kid, and two shows I’m not going to
bother watching now.
The Bottom Line
While the laughs are at the frontline of the series, the heart (and probably the downfall)
of Square Pegs was the underlying sadness of the show. I wouldn’t call the series a
downer, but there is a lot to cringe about through Square Pegs’ brief run. Thank Christ I
was too drunk to go to High School.
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