I still like this one the best.

Spielberg’s take on the H.G. Wells classic was certainly a fun lil’ romp, but when you get down to it, wasn’t the film just one wonderfully crafted set piece after another? Not engrossing so much as exciting. Well done, but not much at the center of it all. The 2005 version of The War Of The Worlds can’t even think of even coming within the remotest possibility of getting close enough to the 1953 version so as to hold a candle within its proximity, can it? So gang, it is with that that I must put on my honest cap again.

Dr. Clayton Forrester (Gene Barry) is your average, run of the mill 1950s movie scientist. He’s ruggedly handsome yet not aggressively so, and he always knows more about what is going on than anyone else around. Conveniently out “camping” with a few good scientist pals, Dr. Forrester’s fun gets cut short by a meteor falling from the sky. Like any real scientist, he doesn’t really give a shit until local law enforcement comes by to stuff its fat face with some food and, oh, casually mention that he might want to take a look at the damned thing, too. Right after some local gets finished BANGING IT WITH A STICK, the good doctor determines the rock is indeed radioactive, so everyone can feel free to enjoy his or her lunch. Feeling his work is done, he sets off to a square dance…

Wait, what? A square dance? Sweet Jesus, they’re at a square dance!

Anyway, yes, he sets off to a square dance with some Grad Student (Ann Richards) while an alien death ray fries a bunch of hicks. The meteor opens to reveal a cool frickin’ spaceship that has its sights set on a priest who is just asking to be made with the hot and crispy – and, naturally enough, a nice friendly round of world conquest. Things start exploding, more cool frickin’ ships show up, and Dr. Forrester still looks rugged even with that dorky square dancin’ tie he’s got on. It’s up to him and his pretty companion to save the entire world as… who am I kidding? You know it’s germs by now, don’t you? Heston has really been on Earth the entire time with those damned dirty apes and the Martians get killed by germs. At the end of the day, Forrester doesn’t do shit. The filmmakers would like you to believe it’s divine intervention, but it’s germs. A whole planet, saved by germs. What those Martians would have done for some antibacterial hand sanitizer.

Once the destruction begins, that’s when The War Of The Worlds gets rocking. Most of what leads up to it is some pretty standard ‘50s fare. Much of it, chuckle inducing. We even get treated to some wonderfully goofy over-extrapolation concerning the possible physiologies of these aliens that no one has even seen yet, something that would become a staple in cheesier sci-fi films to come later. No, it’s the destruction and that wonderful sense of doom and gloom that hit home in science fiction films of the era. World War II was starting to drift away and the world needed a reminder that all is not necessarily well, so what better way to give everyone a poke in the rear end than with some worldwide destruction? We were settling into our comfort zone again. With the evil of the world vanquished, the stars were the last place we would expect to find annihilation. Perfect timing.

The War Of The Worlds wasn’t only effective due to the doom and gloom and the gentle reminders of how close the end of the world may be. Why else was it effective? Maaaaaaaan, those ships. Oh man, those ships. Imagery, design and sound all melded together as an effective whole. One “crap your pants” whole. Even with the wires holding them up made all the more evident due to the hyper-clarity of DVD, the ships still look like flaming death from the stars. Baaaad assss. Nightmare fuel for those audiences in the ‘50s and pretty damned scary now.

It’s unfair to place the 1953 The War Of The Worlds alongside the 2005 The War Of The Worlds because both films are very much products of their time. They both keep the central ideas of Wells’ novel, both are guilty of the traps and pitfalls of their time, and both have their fair share of brilliance. That doesn’t mean the ’53 version is not a masterpiece of sci-fi cinema, for it sure as heck is – but the movie is1953. It’s not just the content that makes the original The War Of The Worlds superior, but the context. New fears were yet to be discovered and exploited. Even though the world was returning to a feeling of safe and secure, the fears were still there… burbling underneath. That “innocence” of the ‘50s was all a façade, like that paste on smile the chick at the bank is always wearing. Everyone was still scared, they just wouldn’t admit it. Spielberg’s version, however, came at us in a post September 11 worldview when most of us were and are still scared shitless. His film uses the fear and the imagery (the falling tattered clothes in lieu of falling papers for example) we have all seen on the evening news. Spielberg’s takes easy advantage of pouring the salt on a still fresh wound.

Also in the original, we get the extra bonus of following our protagonist, who is supposed to be “Chiseled Save the World Guy”, but unexpectedly ends up cowering in a church like everyone else. He’s fairly ineffectual and we end up relating to him after all because of it. What do we get in the 2005 version? Tom Cruise. I never related to that guy.


How's It Look, Smartguy?
Holeeeeee crap! This… this is nice. I mean, like, really nice. It freaks me out how nice this is. Shot in three strip Technicolor, the colors are meant to pop, and sweet Christmas do they pop. Did you ever see that Wonderful World Of Disney opening from the ‘60s when they just switched over to color and assaulted you with this visual cacophony of colored paint splatters to a soprano chorus of, “Colorrrr, colorrrr, colorrrrr?” Well, imagine color that strong but not quite as retina damaging. As I said, it’s niiiice. Aged Technicolor sure can be an ugly, ugly thing, but a whole mess o’ care went into restoring and preserving this movie. I don’t use the phrase “it looks as if it were made yesterday” lightly, but it looks as if it were made yesterday. No joke. It’s presented in a fullscreen format as it was when originally released. I’ll say it again for effect. It’s niiice.

How's It Sound, Ya Bum?
Don’t worry you sound freaks of the world, The War Of The Worlds comes with both the very solid original 2.0 Mono track in Dolby, but also a very sweet Dolby 5.0 Surround. Like the video portion of your presentation, niiiice. When things ‘splode, they ‘splode. And not in that annoying way things do when an older film is given a surround sound update, either. It’s all like the third bear’s porridge.

You Think I Just Wanted The Movie, Pal?
This just gets better and better. The previous release didn’t have anything to write home about in the extras department and this one more than makes up for past mistakes.

We start off with two commentary tracks. The first one is with actors Gene Barry and Ann Robinson. It’s pretty much what you would expect from actors. They were there to do a job, so it’s a lot of “oh look at me” and “oh look at you” or “oh, look at that.” Nah. The geek commentary is where it’s at. Joe Dante, Bob Burns and author Bill Warren take up the second commentary track and that sucker is wall-to-wall factoids. YUM!

Next, a 30-minute documentary entitled The Sky Is Falling: Making The War Of The Worlds. There’s enough here that isn’t mentioned in the two commentary tracks to make it worth your while.

A 10-minute documentary named H.G. Wells: The Father Of Science Fiction comes up next and it’s the only thing on this disc that made me mad. Ten minutes? There’s much more to say about H.G. Wells than one could fit in 10 minutes. Better than nothing said at all, I guess. What’s there, however, is good.

The Mercury Theatre On The Air Presents The War Of The Worlds radio broadcast is here for your listening pleasure, and it catches me in a lie. This is in actuality my favorite adaptation of the novel. The biggest prank in the history of ever and it’s a great listen. To pick nits, I was hoping the updated anniversary edition that aired on Public Radio would be included as well, but the Orson Welles take is good enough, really.

Finally, we have the trailer. It’s a 1950s’ movie trailer. Gotta dig it.

Bring Us On Home, Brother
Even with all of its ‘50s-ness, this is still the granddaddy of alien invasion flicks. It has its share of flaws and it has its share of cheese, but once you get past that and into the actual destruction bits, the film’s narrative pulls you along at a frightening pace. It’s the narrative’s actual subtext of which the filmmakers themselves may not have even been aware, coupled with some well executed special effects and model work that knew how to function within the limitations of the era, that makes this a classic.

(Even if you can see the wires)