NOTE: The following is another installment in DVD In My Pants' neverending series,
The Work Of Milla Jovovich.
All hail Milla.

The romantic comedy. Is there a single genre (besides the modern horror film) so attached to its own repetitiveness? So fixed on formula? You Stupid Man certainly isn’t a movie that will convince you otherwise. But here is the deal for those of you that might be intrigued by this “new” release just in time for Valentine’s Day (and President’s Day, if you happen to feel all cuddly on the 20th)...

You Stupid Man is about Owen (David Krumholtz). He is stupid and makes really mind-bogglingly stupid decisions in his love life. Owen is, by some strange stroke of luck, dating Chloe (Denise Richards). Upon seeing Owen for the first time, you will realize that this kind of thing can only happen in a movie. Mind you, I would argue that Denise Richards herself can only exist in a movie since she appears so fake, plastic, and unnatural that the film S1m0ne was undoubtedly inspired by her. Anyway, Chloe becomes famous nearly overnight, lands a role in some poorly written televisionsitcom, and leaves Owen for her co-star. The third wheel amongst his soon-to-be-wed friends, they decide to set him up with Nadine (Milla Jovovich, a.k.a. God), the bride’s Maid of Honor. In what is probably the only real divergence from formula, Nadine and Owen pretty much hate each other outright, and part company with great haste.

It is only at the wedding of their friends when Owen delivers an odd speech about love – with extra emphasis on the pain – that Nadine takes an interest in Owen as a person. What follows is about 80 minutes of characters being oblivious to everything that is going on around them – particularly Owen.

Nadine and Owen become great friends, each providing the other a shoulder to cry on. Nadine, no doubt, is the more supportive one, having to deal with the pain of growing fondness while the subject is still wrapped up over Chloe. Speaking of which, Chloe really doesn’t do or say much through the whole film, which is actually quite welcome, but surprising nevertheless.

You Stupid Man may be a really awful title for a film, but the shoe certainly fits. If you don’t find yourself saying “You’re a fucking idiot!” at the television at least 20 times, you haven’t been paying attention. I mean when Milla says something to you along the lines of, “you could’ve gotten fucked,” that is a clue for you to pay some goddamned attention. Dig? Owen is well suited for comparison to the person in last place by 30 meters in the Special Olympics Relationship Relay. He reaches levels of neurosis that Woody Allen would be scared to explore. Nadine, on the other hand, seems mostly balanced and only off-kilter enough to make her endearing and somewhat defenseless enough to be too-damned loveable.

It will become apparent as soon as you start watching the film and you see landmarks like the World Trade Center that you are not in 2006 anymore, Toto ... but with scenes reminding me so much of Annie Hall, I am not sure we are in the 1990s either. In a way, this works in the film's favor. It almost becomes like the romantic films of the past. Characters are looking for love everywhere but under their own noses. Misunderstandings are had and blown way out of proportion, rampant emotionalism is allowed and accompanied by the characters being too over-analytical for their own good.

Of course, these are the ingredients that romantic comedies are made of. They taste as good here as any place else, but they also don’t taste any better. It is the only place that the film really suffers. I blame it on the script - You stupid script. Although, I will say that the whole New York vibe given off in this film seems to be considerably more real than most films of this nature. It came as no surprise to find during an Internet search that director Brian Burns is the brother of Edward Burns, who directed a very familiar, albeit less jaunty and much more dramatic film, Sidewalks Of New York. There is a very distinctive Ed Burns feel to this film, and it wouldn’t surprise me a single bit to find out he was behind the scenes somehow here as well. There is nothing wrong with emulating this mood, but it does take away from welcome individuality that the film otherwise might have had.

Milla Factor – 9/10
To say that Milla is at her most gorgeous or glamorous here would be a complete and utter lie. To say this isn’t one of Milla’s best performances though would be a worse lie. Milla shines. Granted, the role of Nadine may not be King Lear, but it is one that Milla seems an easy fit with. It isn’t hard to imagine, even after seeing her in ass-kicking films like Resident Evil, that this is closer to her personality. I was able to easily understand her character's emotions and, more importantly, understand her actions. I think this may even eclipse her strong dramatic performance in Dummy. She was tragically underused in that film, and here she is in it for the long haul. Can more Milla be a bad thing? Not a chance, stupid.

The Stupid DVD Presentation
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this DVD presentation. (Well, aside from the atrocious cover art.) That is the best that can be said about it. It is as strong as any film of this nature needs to be. The video is solid, and the audio is crisp and clear, although the 5.1 element is rarely used. In case you are deaf or like to read, subtitles are available in English, Spanish and French.

And The Extras Are, Stupid?
Not a stupid thing ... which is a stupid shame. I would have loved a commentary by director Brian Burns, seeing as this is his only directorial credit to date. Or even one with Milla Jovovich would have been nice. Alas, this DVD, and therefore my heart, is empty. Whoever decided to leave this disc empty is stupid.

Finish it up, Stupid! 
You Stupid Man isn’t a particularly poor film, but it is a far cry from what you might consider the apex of romantic cinema (and yes, it has an awful title). Still, if you are looking for something light for Valentine’s viewing you aren’t likely to be disappointed. It’s a sad state of affairs that not everyone in the world is a Milla completist like myself, but I recognize this, and for those of you who don’t fall in to that niche, You Stupid Man is only worth a rental. So rent it, stupid.