Jaws - 30th Anniversary Edition
by Cary Christopher

You know, at this point anyone writing about Jaws has to ask themselves, "Does this need a review?"

The obvious answer to this is, "No". Everyone knows what Jaws is about. 

It's one of the most successful films of all time and it has been blamed for single-handedly kicking off the "summer blockbuster" phenomenon. It's been studied, critiqued and written about enough times that you could probably lay a paper trail down that would extend to the moon and back. There are tribes in the deepest darkest recesses of the Amazonian rainforest who still wear loincloths, hunt with spears and can eloquently debate whether Spielberg went too far with the horror element in the "Ben Gardner boat scene". 

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KISSology Volume 2: 1978 - 1991
by Cary Christopher

KISS. As Paul Stanley once said, "You show a picture of us to anyone in any place in the world and they can tell you what band that is." The thing is, unlike most wildly popular bands, KISS' worldwide brand recognition didn't come via hit singles or radio airplay. KISS is a rare beast in that at the height of their popularity they were ranked above Led Zeppelin in most popular music opinion polls but couldn't get their songs played on the radio.

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loudQUIET Loud: A Film About The Pixies
by Cary Christopher

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Cary Christopher and I am a Pixies fan. In fact, on my list of top 10 favorite bands of all time, The Pixies sit firmly nestled in the top 5 alongside The Who, The Beatles, Wilco and Guided By Voices, in no particular order. I'm telling you this so that you know one thing up front. There is no way I can be unbiased when writing about loudQUIETloud: A Film About The Pixies. It's just not possible.

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Magic
by Cary Christopher

When I get a package of screeners from , I generally tend to brace myself for mediocrity. I don’t say that to be mean or to cast aspersions on the editing staff. What I mean is I pretty much know that when I open that package, I won’t be getting a screener for say… X-Men 3. That doesn’t mean the movies I get aren’t good. Generally they are. It just means that I usually don’t wet myself with excitement from just seeing the cover art.

Lucky for me, I was in the backyard when I opened the package containing Magic. The puddle was easy to hose off the concrete.

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The Mummy - The Legacy Collection
by Shawn McLoughlin & Cary Christopher
October 25, 2006

The Mummy, directed by Karl Freund, begins with the discovery of a tomb in Egypt in 1922 where the high priest Im-Ho-Tep is accidentally awakened and escapes into the wilderness. Ten years later, Im-Ho-Tep has cleaned up and taken on a new identity as Ardeth Bey. Pretending to help an expedition looking to uncover another tomb, he is actually working to reanimate the body of the woman he died for 3000 years ago.

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Naina
by Cary Christopher

There’s a little place here in Orange County, California that’s one of the best kept secrets in Indian dining: Spice India. Tucked away in a little strip mall, Spice India is only about as big as a one bedroom apartment, and it’s an Indian grocery, lunch-dinner buffet, and video store all rolled into one. A small group of us eat there once every week or so, and while you’re there, you get to listen to and watch whatever Bollywood production is on the television behind the counter. One day about a month ago, as we were paying our bill at the register, a friend of mine and I started looking through the video rental titles and came across Fight Club. Now, this was not the Brad Pitt/Edward Norton vehicle. No this was an Indian version of the same movie featuring Indian actors and directed by an Indian director. The cover alone had us giggling under our breath like schoolgirls at Sunday mass. Imagine Taj from the Van Wilder movies sporting two black eyes and holding a cricket bat and you’ll get an idea of why the cover had us in stitches.

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Plymptoons – The Complete Early Works of Bill Plympton
by Cary Christopher

Even if you don’t know who Bill Plympton is by name, chances are you’ve seen his work. His animation is award winning and has been featured on everything from MTV to Spike and Mike festivals. His cartoon, Plymptoons, was syndicated in newspapers throughout the U.S. He has even drawn cartoons for men’s magazines like Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler. He’s the animator who is not quite a household name but probably should be.

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The Protector
by Cary Christopher

I have two questions for you to answer before getting into this film. The first is: Did you see Ong Bak: Thai Warrior? 

If you answered “yes” to that question, then my next question is: Did you like it? 

If you answered “no, I did not like it” then you need to stop reading this review. Go watch Pride and Prejudice with your five cats and keep quiet until I’m finished here. If you answered “yes”, then read on.

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Pumpkinhead: Ashes to Ashes
by Cary Christopher

Let me preface this review by saying unequivocally that I am a "monster" horror fan.  I will give the benefit of the doubt to almost any horror movie that features a monstrous abomination of nature or hell itself.  As for slasher movies, I just don't give a damn about them.  There's no imagination in them anymore and I get bored with them.  For every Friday the 13th or Halloween movie there are fifteen Dr. Giggles out there and they're all fucking lame.  I want something new and horrific.

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Puppets Who Kill: The Complete Second Season
by Cary Christopher

ATTENTION AMERICANS!

For years now, we as a society have sat by and watched as the world slowly surpassed us in areas where we were once leaders. We’ve seen manufacturing exported to countries where it can be done better and cheaper. We’ve seen service industry standbys like “customer support help lines” go overseas as well. Our society has quickly become something easily compared to Rome right before its fall. We’ve become lazy and lackadaisical about everything (including the democratic process).

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Rank
by Cary Christopher

Have you ever had the opportunity to stand next to an angry, full-grown bull?  I'm not talking about the really nice one they have at the State Fair that you pay $1.00 to walk into a tent and marvel at how big they are.  I'm talking about a bull that is pissed off, scared and ready to kick anything's or anyone's ass that gets near it.

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Renaissance
by Cary Christopher

When it comes to science fiction, I’m pretty much a take it or leave it kind of guy. Most of the time, I tend to leave it. I’ve never been much of a fan of the bright, shiny future films. Even 2001: A Space Odyssey and I, Robot are too pristine and clean for me. I’ve also never really gotten into the futuristic hero sagas a la Star Wars. I appreciate all of these films for what they did for the world of cinema, but I’ve never been much of a super-fan.

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The Return
by Cary Christopher

I've started this review four times now. I didn't start it over and over because I was confused about it. I know that I really disliked this film. Not on the same level as I hated The Tooth Fairy and Shock-o-rama, but pretty damned strongly nonetheless. My problem in starting this review was that it's just too easy a target. There are just so many, many ways I could go about skewering this film that I'm left dumbfounded, my thoughts awhirl with barbs. Still, a bad review is in many ways fun to write but a boring read.

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Rolling Stones: Under Review - 1962-1966
by Cary Christopher

Recently, while perusing the Internet instead of doing something productive like say… rearing my child, I came across an interesting article that put me face to face with my own mortality.  The article was about how the kids who are now entering high school have never known a world without home computers, digital music or the Internet.  The next group will probably never even know what a stamp is.

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Roving Mars
by Cary Christopher

Is there any planet in our solar system that has produced more curiosity in the human race than Mars?

I would venture to say no.  We've been fascinated by it since we first started looking up to the heavens.  Over the centuries, we've been treated to all manner of speculation as to what exists there.  Are there canals?  Warrior princesses?  Little green men?  All of these questions have been debated in serious discussions over the years and once we started shooting rockets into the sky, it was only a matter of time before we attempted going there to find out the answers.

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Seven Swords
by Cary Christopher

Have you ever realized you were really late to an incredibly cool party when it came to a certain genre of film?   

For the seasoned cinema fan, it’s pretty uncommon. Most of the time, if you’re truly a film geek you’ve hit all the major genres before you are out of your mid-twenties. However, I was in my early 30s when I saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and I realized right away that I was sorely missing out on something. I tried to play catch up as much as possible, but in the end, I have to admit I’ve been a lazy fan of Asian cinema and wuxia, mostly because I would get frustrated.

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